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Starting Over In Love: What's Your Age In Lesbian Years?


Starting Over In Love: What's Your Age In Lesbian Years? [EXPERT]
How many years of experience do you have living the lesbian lifestyle?
A coming out and being out story about what it's like to be a lesbian "late-bloomer".

Just openly watching women was exciting! Come on, you do remember that? Especially when it was a room full of gay girls dancing, mingling and romancing. That's part of the adolescent experience. I was clueless to all the drama that was being played out all around me at the time. I was totally in the high of finally being out and open in this environment. It felt amazing.

Along with the bar scene and trying to figure out how to pick up women, I was also living on my own with my daughter. I moved out of the house I owned with my husband at the time. I didn't want it. I had felt myself drowning in that married with children life and all I wanted was to be free to live honestly and openly as a lesbian and raise my daughter as my true self. My son was almost done high school and decided to stay with his dad. The good of being openly lesbian had some pretty tough and painful lessons attached to it and my relationship with my son was one of them.

More from YourTango: Lessons In Parenting From A Lesbian Mom

The adolescent lesbian in me held on to the excitement of this new life but the mom in me had a lot of heartbreak about my son and his reactions to my coming out and leaving his dad. I am grateful that he and I have patched up our relationship over the years.

Oh, I should also say that I did the leaving part while not being in a committed relationship with a woman. Now, that first relationship came pretty quick, but my decision to leave my marriage was based on my coming out to myself and deciding that I could no longer deny who I was.

Repeating my adolescence as a lesbian included learning how to live and relate as a lesbian in a relationship. It was tough, confusing and a mix of sweet and sour. Women who come out in their youth often have little patience for women who've come out later in life. I can respect that now that I've become a little older in lesbian years.

This adolescent thing we go through is important stuff to understand. I feel like I'm finally on the other side of it after 10 years of being out. That would make me about 25 in lesbian years! That's progress, right?  

More from YourTango: Straight Feminists & Lesbians: Can't We All Just Get Along?

So, how old are you in lesbian years? Join me at my website, Gay Girl Dating Coach and leave me a comment about this article.  

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Mary Malia

Dating Coach

With Gratitude, 

Mary G. Malia

Certified Singles Coach, RCI

Certified Strategic Intervention Coach, Robbins- Madanes Coaching


Location: Portland, ME
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
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