50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

Starting Over In Love: What's Your Age In Lesbian Years?

By

Starting Over In Love: What's Your Age In Lesbian Years? [EXPERT]
How many years of experience do you have living the lesbian lifestyle?
A coming out and being out story about what it's like to be a lesbian "late-bloomer".

Just openly watching women was exciting! Come on, you do remember that? Especially when it was a room full of gay girls dancing, mingling and romancing. That's part of the adolescent experience. I was clueless to all the drama that was being played out all around me at the time. I was totally in the high of finally being out and open in this environment. It felt amazing.

Along with the bar scene and trying to figure out how to pick up women, I was also living on my own with my daughter. I moved out of the house I owned with my husband at the time. I didn't want it. I had felt myself drowning in that married with children life and all I wanted was to be free to live honestly and openly as a lesbian and raise my daughter as my true self. My son was almost done high school and decided to stay with his dad. The good of being openly lesbian had some pretty tough and painful lessons attached to it and my relationship with my son was one of them.

More from YourTango: Lessons In Parenting From A Lesbian Mom

The adolescent lesbian in me held on to the excitement of this new life but the mom in me had a lot of heartbreak about my son and his reactions to my coming out and leaving his dad. I am grateful that he and I have patched up our relationship over the years.

Oh, I should also say that I did the leaving part while not being in a committed relationship with a woman. Now, that first relationship came pretty quick, but my decision to leave my marriage was based on my coming out to myself and deciding that I could no longer deny who I was.

Repeating my adolescence as a lesbian included learning how to live and relate as a lesbian in a relationship. It was tough, confusing and a mix of sweet and sour. Women who come out in their youth often have little patience for women who've come out later in life. I can respect that now that I've become a little older in lesbian years.

This adolescent thing we go through is important stuff to understand. I feel like I'm finally on the other side of it after 10 years of being out. That would make me about 25 in lesbian years! That's progress, right?  

More from YourTango: Straight Feminists & Lesbians: Can't We All Just Get Along?

So, how old are you in lesbian years? Join me at my website, Gay Girl Dating Coach and leave me a comment about this article.  

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Mary Malia

Dating Coach

With Gratitude, 

Mary G. Malia

Certified Singles Coach, RCI

Certified Strategic Intervention Coach, Robbins- Madanes Coaching

http://www.gaygirldatingcoach.com

Location: Portland, ME
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Mary Malia:

CEOs, Listen Up: Why OkCupid's Publicity Stunt Is A Total Win

By

Since when has OkCupid been an advocate for LGBT rights? When it makes business sense is the correct answer. Does being pro-LGBT make business sense? Definitely. OkCupid was most recently in the news for a story about a guy who "broke" their algorithm to find his perfect match. Now instead of being the butt of a news story they had no control ... Read more

5 False Beliefs That Prevent You From Healing Your Past

By

A few years ago, when people would start telling me how they had a happy childhood and they adored their parents and everything was great when they were growing up, my eyes used to start to glaze over. First off, I didn't believe them. My childhood was full of darkness, fear, shame and loneliness. Those were the only images I had to look at and though I ... Read more

Live Your Best Lesbian Life: It's All About Gratitude

By

Gay Girl Dating Coach Mary Malia knows a thing or two about living your best life: the secret is all in your attitude. With a positive outlook and energetic demeanor, Malia is one of our favorite go-to experts for all things love and living authentically. So when we heard she was hosting a global telesummit, Live Your Best Lesbian Life, we had to reach out and ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Staying Dry

Letting Go Is Hard To Do

Healing your heart after divorce or loss of a spouse is worth the effort. Letting go is hard to do.

cozy up

Showing Love Through Touch

Touch is so incredibly important in relationships.

happiest

Listen Up, Darling: A Sex Kitten Is Never Hangry or Tired

Recently I shared eight surprising traits of a sex kitten. Each of those traits are ones that ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS