Hey Gay Girl, You've Got To Love Your Lesbian Self


Hey Gay Girl, You've Got To Love Your Lesbian Self
You've got to love yourself first to guarantee your next relationship is on the right path.

If you haven't heard this yet, hear it now. You've got to learn to love yourself!

Are you still single? Yeah, still single? Damn. Right. Yeah. I know you are missing love and wanting love and hoping for love. But let me interrupt... first you have got to love yourself.

It’s time to make a shift gay girl. You’ve got to love yourself and stop waiting for love to show up in someone else.

You are already full of it; love that is but you’re not using it.

So let’s talk about how you can use it for you. It’s time to let love out of the box.
Go ahead and be skeptical but listen, ok? Most single gay girls are busy looking for love to come in the package of another woman. That’s the big problem.

Why is that a problem? Well the poet Rumi says it very well:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Keep being skeptical but let those words roll around in your head and heart and let your self hear them.

Would you open up to the idea that you’ve got to love yourself?

If your answer is yes, then do this exercise to step into learning more.

1. Take a two or three deep cleansing breathes.

2. Ask yourself this question: Have I built barriers to love in my life?

You might want to ask this question a few different ways. The thought behind this question is that your beliefs define how you see the world. If you think people are mean, guess what? The people that show up in your world are mean. If you believe that people are fun and generous then guess what shows up in your world? Yes, fun and generous people.

I learned this lesson from Wayne Dwyer. A great story he shares of two women he met in one city. They had both moved there a year previous. One women told him that everyone she met was unkind and mean. She also said she had expected it to be that way when she moved there. The other woman he met shared that she had only met very kind and wonderful people and she’d known it would be like that when she moved there.

Do you get it? We attract what we put out in the world. If we keep meeting women that are unkind and mean, guess what you may be putting out. Oh yeah, that's hard to read isn't it. So what can you do to change this? Read on.

3. Next make this declaration: “I want to see the barriers I have built inside myself to receiving love. I want to remove them from my life. I want to open up to loving myself unconditionally so I can love other's unconditionally.”

Your beliefs are the bedrock of the barriers and the opportunities you have in life.

Now continue to be skeptical if you must but listen to what’s showing up in your head. What’s going through your mind?

When you look in the mirror in the morning what do you say to yourself? Is it loving, kind and generous? Or mean and stingy?

When you are hanging out with your friends who have great relationships what are you saying in your head? “I’m so lonely I can’t stand it.” Or “This will never happen for me.” Or “My girlfriend never treated me that good.”

This article was originally published at Gay Girl Dating Coach. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by

Mary Malia

Dating Coach

With Gratitude, 

Mary G. Malia

Certified Singles Coach, RCI

Certified Strategic Intervention Coach, Robbins- Madanes Coaching


Location: Portland, ME
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Mary Malia:

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