4 Things You Probably Believe About Gay Sex That Are SO Very Wrong

4 Things You Probably Believe About Gay Sex That Are SO Very Wrong

4 Things You Probably Believe About Gay Sex That Are SO Very Wrong

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So long, stupid stereotypes!

When it comes to gay sex, there are a lot of misconceptions among the heterosexual community. How do lesbians have sex, anyway? Are all gay men promiscuous? All people, gay and straight, have standards when it comes to their sex lives; some are obvious, and some may surprise you.

Let's take a peek inside the world of gay sex and determine, for once and for all, which rumors are true and which are simply bogus.

1. Gays And Lesbians Are Promiscuous 

Just because we enjoy sex with a person who has the same body parts as us doesn't mean we're loose, easy, want to have sex with straight people or cheat on our partners any more than straight people. In a study done by online dating site OkCupid, a free online dating site with 1.6 million users, gay and lesbian individuals reported having had an average of six sexual partners.

That debunks the notion that gay men are having so much sex they barely have time to pull their pants up. It also says that, as a whole, we're remarkably the same as heterosexuals about our sexual appetites.

2. Gays And Lesbians Are Chasing Straight People For Sex 

First off, most straight guys are decidedly not that attractive to either gay men or lesbians. And most lesbians will tell you that your very heterosexual girlfriend is not that much of a turn on either. Lesbians love our toaster gift joke, and we pull it out whenever a woman is coming out, especially if she's a late bloomer to the lesbian scene. We appreciate that Ellen DeGegeneres created that myth for us, (the joke being that if you convert someone to being lesbian, you win a toaster oven!), but we aren't chasing after your straight girlfriend or boyfriend.

Gays and lesbians aren't trying to convert you to our way of life. You see, we do understand that sexual orientation isn't something we chose; it's part of our human experience, just like someone being heterosexual. We're happy to let folks be heterosexual while we enjoy our own homosexual lives.

This myth is like saying that straight people want to have sex with anyone that is straight. Yuck! Finding someone who you're attracted to and that you get along with well enough to have a long-term relationship is as difficult for gays and lesbians as it is for straight folk. Why on earth would we force ourselves to have sex with someone we're not attracted to? 

3. Lesbians Want To Sleep With Your Girlfriend While You Watch 

Nope, wrong again! That's a straight guy's fantasy and has nothing to do with any fantasy a lesbian has. This fantasy gives bi-sexual women a bad rep in the lesbian world. OkCupid's data tells us this isn't happening either.

First off, 25 percent of straight people with profiles on OkCupid have had sex with someone who's gay or lesbian. That's a lot of straight folks having sex with gays and lesbians. It seems that heterosexual women are very interested in same sex encounters; perhaps this comes from the threesome fantasy many of their boyfriends have.  

33 percent of straight women reported they had a same sex encounter and another 18 percent say they'd like the chance to have sex with a woman. For men, it's 13 percent who say they're interested in a same sex encounter. So what about all these suddenly bisexual people?

4. Bisexuals Have Sex With Everyone 

Nope. Not true either. Bisexuals consistently seek out one gender for relationships. Thanks again to OkCupid for this data. 36 percent of bisexuals send messages only to women while 41 percent send messages only to men. And finally only 23 percent of bisexuals send messages to both sexes.

Oops! Are bisexuals confused about their sexual orientation? Perhaps. The data showed that younger individuals are more open to both sexes, but as individuals move into their 30s, they pick one gender over the other. Most people identifying as bisexual are seeking relationships consistently with one gender, not both. 

For the straight male world, what we see is that only one in four women want both men and women at the same time, so that threesome fantasy is probably going to stay a fantasy. 

These are four of the most popular myths I run into regularly as I network in my role as a Gay Girl Dating Coach where I help lesbians break through barriers to finding love. What other gay sex myths are out there that I should debunk? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section.

 

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