Coming Out As A Lesbian: Just Curious Or Really Serious?


Coming Out As A Lesbian: Just Curious Or Really Serious?
Many women come out lesbian later in life and are surprised by unexpected challenges that show up.

My experience of the lesbian world in those first few years showed me that its as full of rules as the heterosexual world. It’s just that the rules are different and sometimes particularly surprising for a newbie to the land of lesbians. One of those unspoken rules is that many women who came out at a young age and are now older often don't want to date late-comers to lesbian life. 

Like many late to the game lesbians, I was hurt by this “rule” when I first learned about it. As my lesbian life experience has grown, I now get it.  It makes complete sense to me that life long lesbians just want to protect their hearts from women who may just be curious versus serious. There’s a lot of video and TV time being given to the idea of two women being together. In the land of queer where the lesbians live, its not a game show or a reality show, it’s real life with real hearts and real emotions.


For those of you that have realized late in life that you must own your self and that your truth is living as lesbian, I salute you. You will and have taken many brave steps to get to where you are.

This in no way diminishes the courage of the women that have always lived their lives out in the open. The truth is that the courage of lesbians that have always taken a stance for lesbian freedom are my heros. Those are the women that helped me finally realize that I must live my truth. Thank you again for you courage, for your lives lived in the open and your voices.

I'm asking nicely to all lesbians, please have some mercy for the late comers to lesbian life as we stumble and perhaps bumble about trying to figure out what to do and with who and when.

You are probably tired of women like me, but we’re not going away. Actually you can probably expect more and more of us to be showing up and in that deluge of late to life lesbians, we will be able to solve the problem of there not being enough lesbians to date!

How’s that for a turn-around?

This article was originally published at Gay Girl Dating Coach. Reprinted with permission.
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