You're single, bipolar and lesbian and starting to wonder if anyone will ever date you. Here are some facts you need to know.
- Not only will women date you, someone is going to fall head over heels in love with you.
- You don't need to tell a woman on your first date that you're bipolar, but don't wait too long either. Let her see you in a few different situations so she can discover who you are and that you're a lesbian who really is loveable. So think about telling her when you're passed the first three or four dates but not much longer than that. If you wait longer, you're avoiding the truth of who you are. And that never works if you want a healthy relationship. If she's right for you, she'll get curious and show care and concern. If she doesn't, then it will be time to end the relationship.
- Don't apologize for being bipolar; instead show her how you take care of yourself. Talk about how you are committed to your own self-care around this issue. That you stick with your therapist, stay on your meds, get the exercise you need and keep your world as on track as possible.
- Have faith in love. You are totally and completely loveable just as you are. If you get out and start dating, you'll discover there is someone wonderful out there for you. She's up for the adventure of dating and loving you. She's someone who would be bored by everything always being the same and has the patience to stand by your side during the rough patches.
- Don't expect your new girlfriend to know or understand what you need to have in place to feel well. Be willing to educate her. Lend her a book to read or tell her about a couple of websites you like. One of the books I recommend for both of you is Taming Bipolar Disorder by Lori Oliwenstein. Tell her that she's not responsible for your well-being or managing your bipolar disease. That's your job. Period.
- Finally, when things are moving along really well, be sure to learn what really makes her feel loved, safe and secure. Ask her. And make it your mission to ensure she is always getting those things from you as much as possible. Then when you're going through a tough patch, she'll have enough love stored up to stick through things because you've been showing her what a great partner you really are. Check out The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman to really nail how to fill her love bucket. You're bipolar and YES you can date and find love.
To learn more, visit my website: Gay Girl Dating Coach
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