Your “Soul Mate” is her husband.

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Your “Soul Mate” is her husband.
Have you found someone online that you think is your soul mate? Make sure they are not someone elses

Your “Soul Mate” is her husband.
With technology we are all connected all the time. We can skype, text and talk to people anywhere in the world. It is amazing that with all of this technology our relationships have not gotten smarter. In fact, we are still trying to date married people. Married people posing as possible dates on social networks are as common as pollen in the spring. Every week I hear at least one story from someone who believes they have found their soul mate in a married man or woman they met online. When you are infatuated with someone, they can lie to you more easily. The lust or infatuation hinders the ability to comprehend the truth. Your new soul mate will tell you all kinds of things. They may tell you they were living with someone, but never loved them. They may tell you they cannot leave someone due to their small children. There is a reason for every lie, and the lies are numerous.
There are ways you can tell if someone you met on line is married. The obvious one—looking for a ring—is not reliable, and it is difficult to look for a ring on Facebook or Skype. Here are a few more suggestions:
1. Google the person. Some of the information may be incorrect with Google, but there should be signs as to whether the person is married.
2. Ask yourself how available the person is. If they seem to have a complicated schedule and can only talk to you at strange times, this may be a sign.
3. If the person talks only about themselves, this is a warning sign that they may be married. People who are married are afraid of getting caught in a lie about their life. They aren’t planning on sharing you with their friends or family so they don’t talk about their friends or family in detail.
4. People who are married don’t mention their past. When they do, it isn’t consistent.
5. Many times people who are married will say they are separated or preparing for divorce while trying to date. Be careful in regards to this. There is no legal separation in Texas and many other states. If they are separated (many times they aren’t, but will tell you they are) they are still very much married.
The term soul mate was very popular several years ago. It is a seductive idea to think there is one special someone waiting for us. There are people who naturally connect with us, who we feel we have known for a long time and we are magnetically drawn to. Whether you call this person a soul mate or very attractive depends on what you are looking for. Many people who look for their soul mate are looking for that romantic connection. They think of themselves as half a person and, therefore, not complete without someone else. Believe me; you are whole as you are. If you find a person who recognizes your wholeness and is attracted to that, you have a much better chance of creating a healthy relationship.

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
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Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
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