5. When your partner has hurt you, talk about it. Tell them while you were hurt. When hurt feelings are ignored, they usually remain in our heads as tapes. When we are feeling insecure, they play very loud. The replaying of old tapes makes us cling more.
6. Make your relationship one of transparency. Many couples get jealous and insecure when things are left open with ambiguity. When you are asked a question, don’t skirt around the issue. Be direct and say it like it is.
7. Listen to your partner, and try to see things from their point of view. It doesn’t have to be your way and needing it to be so makes people move further from you rather than closer.
8. Make a rule not to communicate with old lovers from the past. Women and men have a vivid imagination, and when they feel threatened from your past, they become more dependent and controlling.
9. Don’t cheat. The most insecure relationships I see are the ones where two cheaters married each other. If you know your partner cheated in the past, it is difficult to believe they won’t cheat on you. If you cheated in the past, you know lies can disguise the truth all too well.
10. Work on yourself. Usually, when we feel insecure in a relationship, it is because we doubt our own assets. Explore and be curious about yourself. Get to know all the wonderful things about you.
We all know the importance of being healthy. We try to eat right, exercise, and live a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes we forget the health of our relationships. Working on your relationships not only improves your marriage and family; it could save your life.
–Mary Jo Rapini
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