Why Does Every Loser Want To Marry Me?


Why Does Every Loser Want To Marry Me?
When you begin attracting the type of person you don't want, go back and make peace with your parent

Parents don’t only affect their daughters; they also have profound effects on their son and his future relationships. For example, a very common scenario may be a son who isn’t close to his dad, but is very close to his mother. He may have difficulty with commitment and being vulnerable because he may feel that a woman will be too emotionally needy (since he and his mother are so close), and he will be reluctant to repeating that situation. He never learned or was mentored by his father how you can be close to a woman and still have your own space to do the things you enjoy.
The key for Kellie, as well as anyone who has past resentment and hurt from their parents, is to make peace. It is better to do this early before you date or marry someone, so these feelings aren’t acted out with someone unknowingly and new. What we reject in our parents doesn’t go away, but remains inside of us. Much of life is repeating old patterns, but when patterns are unhealthy repeating them for generations seems pointless and cruel. 90% of all prisoners have been abused as children. Unhealthy patterns of resentment, anger, and cruelty affect our relationships, our families and our societies at large. Below are suggestions for making peace with your parents.
1. Realize that your way of continuing the pattern of your parents is an unconscious way to bring them back and keep them in your life. Therefore, the first and foremost thing you must do is write down and make note of any good behaviors they had.
2. Begin to look for these good behaviors in others, especially with people you date.
3.  If your parents are still alive, sit with them and talk honestly about what you resent, and seek to understand why your parents acted in this manner. Many times understanding helps heal resentment.
4. If your parents are deceased or unavailable, write a letter of what they did that was so hurtful or upsetting to you. It can help release the feelings if you put them down on paper. You may want to burn the letter or bury it. If your parents are old and not able to understand, giving the letter to them will only cause more suffering for all of you. It is not part of letting go or establishing peace.
5. Talking to a loved one you are dating or married to about your discovery will really help. They may feel lightened by your enlightenment, and also relieved to see the pattern of what has been created. When you understand a pattern you can usually work with one another in an effort to not repeat it.
Our parents are the first people we loved. They are the first people who are supposed to love us. When their expression of love is unhealthy as children we aren’t able to grasp it because we have no other comparison. Therefore, the way they expressed their love for you and your other parent is bound to leave a lasting impression. The key to establishing peace as an adult with your parent is to be curious, honest, and forgiving. They may have been a broken child inside a parent body. Understanding and not repeating the pattern is Kellie’s and our ultimate goal. –Mary Jo Rapini


For more information or you FREE MONTHLY RELATIONSHIP TIPS: www.maryjorapini.com
http://ustre.am/PLWS  Struggling with low libido in your relationship
Married with small children at home and keeping your relationship close http://traffic.libsyn.com/sexandintimacy/MJR_ep_01.mp3
Improving your body image http://traffic.libsyn.com/sexandintimacy/MJR_ep_04.mp3
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @ Mary Jo Rapini
Join me weekday Mornings for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” on Fox 26 Houston at 9 A.M.
Tags: Parenting, Relationships, Family, Communication, Dating, Marriage, Unhealthy Relationships, Love, Resentment, Marrying Someone Like Your Parent

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini


For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
Other Articles/News by Mary Jo Rapini:

5 Ways To Stuff Your Turkey With Gratitude


Many of us grew up sharing Thanksgiving with family around the dining room table. Our parents or grandparents usually hosted the meal, and we ate with family and became re-acquainted with family we may not have seen since the Thanksgiving before. Times have changed and family members may have moved due to work obligations, school choices and raising families of ... Read more

Baby Boomers: Take Your Marriage From Boring To Blissful!


Boomers have always been independent and have made their own way. Nowhere is that showing up more than in marital status. Since 1990, the divorce rate has gone down in the United States for everyone but the boomers. Those over 50 years of age have seen divorce rates double, and if you're over fifty, you've probably seen several of your friends split ... Read more

A Soul Mate Isn't A Soul Mate Without These 4 Things


Time Magazine recently reported on a concept many of us have, "That good marriages and relationships are based on finding our soul mate or our perfect one." This expectation is shaped by society's focus on physical attraction and messages from our friends, family and our favorite television shows, none of which are actually true as far as having a ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular