I also want people to know that the "other woman" is usually not some dumb floozy. I am a smart, professional woman who made a terrible mistake during a very vulnerable time in my life. I wish that I could take it all back and do it differently. I paid a really high price for my involvement in the relationship. People make mistakes and it doesn't make them bad people. Thank you for listening, Kathy
I have no reply for Kathy as she knows what happened, and I think her insights for all of us are heartfelt and sincere. However, what Kathy cannot feel are the sleepless nights the wife spent having suspicion about her husband. She will never experience or feel the times his children may have lost with their dad due to her being involved with him, nor will she understand or feel what his wife knows about his ability to love someone enough to marry them, and then break a vow and lie. Kathy is hurting, and she regrets her actions with him, but she will have difficulty healing until she can forgive how her actions affected his wife. When a man or woman cheats, it isn’t hurting the person they cheat with; they are hurting the spouse and children. If anyone needs an apology, it is the spouse of the cheater, and they need the apology from both the cheater and the cheater who cheated with the cheater.
This letter is full of pain and remorse, but more importantly, what it points out is the fragility of our relationships and marriages. If you don’t nurture your marriage every day and prioritize it, the pressures life presents may be too much for it to be healthy and to last. Remember, marriage isn’t natural, but a healthy marriage is still the best way to raise secure, successful children and stay healthy. If you want a happy, healthy life, marriage is the way to go but, not without careful attention to your ability to communicate and nurture its growth. –Mary Jo Rapini
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