What do chores have to do with your love life?

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What do chores have to do with your love life?
Who does what, and how each partner feels can predict divorce or a break up in your relationship

 

One of the biggest problems facing couples is the unevenness of chores; who does what, and how much time do men and women each contribute to daily household chores? With the majority of couples, women do the majority of chores, and guys when they are asked to help out complain that they can never do it to their girlfriend or wife’s satisfaction. A recent study revealed that the potential for a divorce could be cited by talking to the couple about who does what chore and is it equal with the amount of time spent. The study was very clear that it wasn’t only the chores and who did them, but how each spouse felt about doing them, and the extent to which one of the spouses felt they were not shared equally.

The division of labor or who does what chores depends on many factors. I can understand one partner doing more chores if there are small children and one of the parents stays home with the child. The stay-at-home parent may be more responsible for more chores during the week. However, this doesn’t explain why they continue to be totally responsible on the weekends. When is their day off from chores? Add to that, the statistic that women who work full-time outside the home are still doing 87% of the household chores while their male partner is doing 13%. When asked “why,” the couples themselves didn’t have an answer. I don’t understand how the man or woman is okay with this division of labor. It seems very likely that one of them will eventually become upset and retaliate. This is what usually happens, and it comes across in all sorts of areas while working with couples. It may show up in their sex life, how they manage money, and how they talk to their husbands. They are angry about the chores, but they may act the anger out by over-spending, withdrawing from sex, or engaging in the silent treatment. They feel that their complaining and nagging falls on deaf or defensive ears.

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

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