A hook up with someone you don't care for to avoid being alone, makes the New Year begin with dread
The loneliest most of us ever feel is when we are with someone we don’t care for. A bad date or a bad marriage can make us feel so alone and unloved. Many people go out with people they don’t like to avoid being alone for special holidays, and New Year’s Eve is one of those times. Who wants to be home alone on New Year’s Eve? It’s the one night you are supposed to go out, have romance and bring in the New Year with a kiss of passion and goodwill. I spent one New Year’s Eve with a guy I basically couldn’t stand. I don’t know why I accepted his proposal. He wasn’t even a good kisser and I had experienced his kisses enough to know that. It was miserable for me, and most likely, it wasn’t much fun for him either.
One of the reasons I didn’t want to be alone is because I didn’t understand how wonderful I could make that evening for myself. Many women and men date all sorts of people and go to terrible parties to avoid what I later learned can be a great evening. If you are going to be alone this New Year’s Eve begin now to make it special.
Tips on making your New Year’s Eve alone special:
1. Call an old friend who is too far away to be with. Spend some time talking on the phone, watching New Year's Eve specials together, and reminisce on the year gone by and discuss what's ahead. If your friend is going out at night, it’s okay to call her/him early in the day. Sometimes the voice brings back memories better than writing, so calling actually makes you feel closer and less alone.
2. Plan a nice meal for yourself (most of the time we plan dinner for two when we want to impress someone). How about impressing you? If you don’t cook, make plans at a special restaurant you have always wanted to try. Go early to avoid long lines. Take a book or something to read if you are worried about eating alone. Many times when you are alone, people are less intimidated and will be more likely to start up a conversation with you. Don’t forget that a really good glass of wine can be a nice way to enjoy your dinner. Splurge on yourself.
3. Before New Year’s Eve, invest in a new hobby to begin New Year’s Eve. Maybe a new book, or a lesson guide for playing the guitar, or learning a language. New Year’s Eve is a good time to think about an area you would like to develop more in the future. Finding a book about fitness or nutrition is a wonderful way to begin the New Year. When we exercise and eat better we have more confidence, and when we have more confidence we appreciate ourselves more.
4. Consider exploring new websites after dinner. Get online, look at funny U-Tubes or other sites you have been meaning to explore. Although it may be 10 p.m. in your time zone, it may be midnight somewhere else. Consider being the first to tell others “Happy New Year.” Get online.
5. If you cannot stand to be alone, consider hosting a party for everyone you know who is single. When you have others around who have a lifestyle you share, it is much easier to feel connected. Good friends are always a better option than being with someone who bores you or doesn’t respect you. Just remember, if they drink (and most of our friends do), they may need to spend the night. Friends don’t let friends drive intoxicated. Period!
6. Take a hot bath with good smelling bubbles. Enjoy soft lighting, a glass of champagne and good music. You don’t need to be with someone else to relax and feel good about your own body. While relaxing in the water remind yourself how fortunate you have been and be thankful. Begin to imagine your new year. Thank your body for all it has done for you this year.
7. If being alone this year for New Year’s Eve is too scary, try a getaway. Plan a vacation. Go somewhere you have always wanted to go and explore it fully. Getting away distracts you from not having someone to share the evening with. It also is a good way to learn more about yourself and others!
The best relationships always begin with the relationship we have with ourselves. New Year’s Eve is the perfect evening to begin exploring and celebrating ourselves. You don’t need another person to symbolize you are okay or desirable. In fact, the most desirable people I know are the ones who know how to celebrate themselves from time to time. You will be one of the few who wakes up January 1, 2012 feeling invigorated and inspired; grateful you didn’t settle under pressure on New Years Eve. - Mary Jo Rapini
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