She wants what you've got

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She wants what you've got
when you go out with your man does he leave you? Do you feel out of control jealous when you're alon

I was invited to a party a couple of weeks ago while speaking in New Orleans. I didn’t know many of the guests, but since the party was celebrating a friend of mine I decided to attend. When I don’t know many people, I sit back and watch. I watch how couples interact, how they hold one another, and how they watch each other talk. It is amazing because, when I am watching, I see more than when I am in my office listening. I observe who they look at when they are speaking, and I watch how they react to each other when someone else is speaking. During my observing, a nice man came up to me and introduced himself. He was very soft spoken, polite, and engaging. His wife soon joined him along with another woman. I didn’t know any of them, so I left it to the man to introduce me as he knew everyone. He did not so I introduced myself to avoid the awkwardness I was feeling. The woman seemed to be set on embarrassing her husband in front of me and her friend. It seemed as though the husband and the woman’s friend had been through this routine before as they all knew what part to play. He apologized for “leaving her” at the party and then her friend just walked away. I don’t know what happened to the couple, (someone else came up to rescue me) but I do know that this woman was threatened about her husband talking to another woman, and she believed that there are women who want what she has.

Jealousy is something we aren’t comfortable admitting or feeling with our partner, but we all experience it at times. A small amount of jealousy may be part of a healthy relationship, and it may flatter your partner. When jealousy becomes frequent and takes on an assumption that your partner is always cheating or that someone is always after your man or woman, it turns into a pathology and can damage the relationship beyond repair. The wife mentioned above may have a good reason to doubt her husband; maybe he does have a tendency to seek out other women, and she may feel threatened. He may belittle her or be disrespectful. All I know for sure is that she was angry and used this moment to embarrass him. I also believe whatever she has done thus far about her jealousy is not working. Her husband knew the routine and so did her friend.

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

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Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
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