An "Obsession" is not love

By

 An "Obsession" is not love
The obsessed lover may shower you with gifts, but they want something back...to isolate and own you.

The final phase is the destructive phase. In this stage, the obsessed person realizes they are losing their partner. They will be filled with so much self hate that they often will have suicidal thoughts and may kill the person and/or themselves. They have a very low sense of self, and also may project the hatred they feel for themselves onto the person they cannot have. This causes rage, and possibly revenge. It is very dangerous and if you have someone like this in your life you should call the police.
If you see signs of this after a couple of dates with someone, it is important that you act immediately. If it is allowed to continue, you may not be able to get out.

 

Here are 5 things to do if you find yourself going on a second date with someone who has overdone it on the first.
1. Be direct with the person and tell them you cannot date anymore. The truth is the best, but if you are worried about hurting their fragile self esteem, then change all of your numbers and email accounts, and don’t answer texts, or voicemails.
2. Don’t frequent any of the places the two of you may have gone in the past.
3. Don’t accept any gifts or requests sent to your home address.
4. Tell your closest friends and family about your concerns so they can be aware.
5. Obsessed people have a way of knowing what you will respond to. No matter what excuse they give you, do not get involved with them. If they tell you they will kill themselves if you don’t see them, call the police or 911 and tell them this person has told you they will kill themselves. Suicide must be taken seriously, but professionals who deal with suicide will be able to handle it more effectively than you.

Obsessive love may feel flattering the first time you experience the incredible attention they afford you. However, after 24 hours when the adornment is continuing non-stop, it becomes too much and many times frightening. The Obsessed is trying to hook you into loving them, but their concept of love is control, and you will end up feeling like you are on a scary, twisted ride if you join them. –Mary Jo Rapini
For more information and MONTHLY FREE RELATIONSHIP TIP go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @ Mary Jo Rapini
Get your “MOJO MOMENT” each day on Fox 26 at 7 and 9a.m. CST.
http://houston.cbslocal.com/2011/07/06/dos-and-donts-after-the-breakup/
http://houston.cbslocal.com/2011/07/13/how-to-cope-after-infidelity/?utm...
http://khmx.radio.com/shows/mary-jo-rapini/
Join me every Thursday Morning on “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” on Fox 26 Houston at 9 a.m.

 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
Other Articles/News by Mary Jo Rapini:

6 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Hot When You Have Little Kids

By

Today's young families have pressures that families of long ago may not have had. Parents both work with the pressure of taking kids to school, lack of sleep, alternating who takes off sick time when their child gets sick and trying to excel in their own careers. Stress over time begins deteriorating marriage happiness, which is a leading cause of divorce ... Read more

Sleeping In The Nude: Does What You Wear To Bed Affect Intimacy?

By

A recent survey published by Cotton USA reveals that 57 percent of married couples who sleep nude report being happy with their partner. Roughly half of all couples do sleep nude and approximately half of those are over the age of 55. Is it the nudity itself helping couples feel happier with their partner or is the nudity symbolic for something deeper that ... Read more

5 Ways To Survive A Friend Unfriending You

By

A group of my colleagues and friends were talking about losing good friends. One of my friends' situations was a job promotion and a change of location. Her friend cut her off, didn't want to be her friend anymore, and un-friended her on Facebook, leaving her feeling confused and mistrusting. Had this person been a friend at all? Another friend told ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB