No connection

By

No connection
Not being able to connect with your partner may be deeper than you think. This article can help.


http://www.myfoxhouston.com/story/22238221/2013/05/13/when-your-partner-...

 

 

There is a disorder that is making more and more sense into why couples break up. The personality trait is called “Alexithymia,” and it renders the person it affects unable to communicate their feelings or understand their feelings as well as their partner’s. Communication is the number one reason most relationships break up or divorce, so understanding what happens and why some people have such difficulty communicating may help save marriages and shed light into how marital therapy can help these couples.

As you can imagine, the person who has this condition does not suffer alone, and their partner usually feels lonely and unable to connect. Nick Frye-Cox is a doctoral student at the University of Missouri, and after studying people with these conditions, reports that although the affected person can describe physical feelings such as a headache, stomachache or rapid heart rate, they cannot identify if the emotion accompanying the physical affects is sad, happy, or upset. People with this disorder have trouble relating to others and they tend to be uncomfortable in social situations, which may also cause them to suffer social anxiety. They present as being the “stoic type,” and avoid emotional topics. Many of these people do marry because they like the security and sense of feeling that they belong, but they are incredibly difficult to form an emotional intimate relationship with. When surveyed, these people reported feeling lonely and had low marriage quality.

Alexithymia does affect both males and females, but it affects men more. People with this condition are constantly weighing the costs and benefits of being in a relationship, so they enter and exit quite easily because they don’t expect the others to be able to meet their needs, and they don’t try to meet the needs of others they are involved with. 

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
Other Articles/News by Mary Jo Rapini:

5 ways to Stuff Your Turkey with Gratitude

By

  Many of us grew up sharing Thanksgiving with family around the dining room table. Our parents or grandparents usually hosted the meal, and we ate with family and became re-acquainted with family we may not have seen since the Thanksgiving before. Times have changed and family members may have moved due to work obligations, school choices and raising ... Read more

Baby Boomers: Take Your Marriage From Boring To Blissful!

By

Boomers have always been independent and have made their own way. Nowhere is that showing up more than in marital status. Since 1990, the divorce rate has gone down in the United States for everyone but the boomers. Those over 50 years of age have seen divorce rates double, and if you're over fifty, you've probably seen several of your friends split ... Read more

A Soul Mate Isn't A Soul Mate Without These 4 Things

By

Time Magazine recently reported on a concept many of us have, "That good marriages and relationships are based on finding our soul mate or our perfect one." This expectation is shaped by society's focus on physical attraction and messages from our friends, family and our favorite television shows, none of which are actually true as far as having a ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular