Summer is here, and with it comes ideas of lemonade, hammocks on the beach, the
breeze blowing through your hair, sounds of the ocean and better sex. What, better
sex? Yes, you need to take a break for your marriage. A vacation is good for the heart,
soul and your sex life. Most of the recent polls I’ve read reinforce the fact that two thirds
of all married couples report having better sex on vacation than they do at home.
Vacations are our time to let go, and relax. We can stay in bed all day if we want, and
with that feeling, we give ourselves permission to enjoy one another. Men have less
difficulty with taking time for sex than women do. It seems like everything else comes
before sex for most wives: the kids, cleaning, meal preparation, birthday gifts, and
parties. Way down in almost last place you will find sex. Most women don’t put it in last
place on purpose. It gets moved there just as the other things for which women should
take time. For women, it seems self serving to put her own enjoyment as number
one or two on the list. Vacations offer her that opportunity.
It is little wonder that couples struggling with their marriage haven’t taken a vacation
in years. They may have gone to Disneyland with the kids, or Greece with the in-laws,
but they have not gone anywhere by themselves for a very long time. Vacations are a
marital renewal in all ways. Communication verbally and physically is enhanced and
communication alone is the single biggest predictor of marital happiness. Sharing novel
experiences, so vital to a happy marriage, are what vacations thrive on. Perhaps most
important is the lack of an agenda or objective with vacations. The couple becomes
more united in that “space” that most vacations provide and is usually lost in our day
to day lives. It isn’t important where you go, or the money you spend. The importance
comes from the planning together, and the fact that both of you value the idea of getting
away with each other. This heightens the pleasure for women, knowing that their man
desires them enough to “escape” with them.
What ladies should bring:
- Buy a swim suit in which you feel sexy, and pack it. Even if you don’t vacation near water there is bound to be a hot tub, and why let the excuse that you don’t have a suit stop you?
- Forget the negligee. Wear his white shirt to bed.
- Buy some nice perfume that makes you feel pretty and desirable. Women’s olfactory centers are right next to our sex center in our brain. They are connected, and most women feel sexy if they smell good.
- Choose a lipstick that accentuates your skin and coloring. The mouth is very sensual, and when we attract attention to our lips, our partners are going to be more inclined to listen.
- Bring an attitude of openness and appreciation with you. Criticizing your man at any time on vacation is strictly verboten. Go as if you are dating. When he messes up, simply detach from controlling who or what he has to do or say. Love him anyway.
- A nice bra and panties will make you feel feminine. This is very important to most women when they want to feel their best. Men like to look at it, but prefer nudity.
- The quickest way to look thinner is to wear heels. It also makes us feel sexier to wear them. If you have feet or leg problems, a kitten heel is best. Any elevation of the heel looks better than a flat shoe.
What guys should bring:
- You can’t go wrong with jeans and a white shirt. Bring them. Your woman is going to wear your white shirt to bed, so make sure you pack several.
- Guys who smell good look better. Make sure you bring your cologne. Women cannot resist a good smelling, kind and nice looking man.
- Bring nice boxers. Women are different than men with the nudity thing. We much prefer a man from the waist down with shorts or jeans on. The nude man is not a vacation.
- Bring a toothbrush and toothpaste, and don’t forget to brush your teeth and lips. When you brush your lips you exfoliate them, and it makes them softer. It is desirable to chapped or dried out lips.
- Bring an attitude of kindness and sensitivity. If you focus on making your wife feel special, she will make you feel very special.
- Guys, most women do look at your shoes. If you want to make her feel special, wear nice shoes. It shows women you are meticulous and care. I don’t know what else to say, it seems weird, but it is true.
- Bring one sport coat. When a man throws a jacket on for dinner with jeans and a white shirt, it tells the woman this dinner is special and I want to impress you.
Things you both can bring:
- Travel candles. Men don’t need the ambiance as much as women do, but both of you will benefit from attention to this detail.
- Music. We all enjoy good music and when we get home and hear the songs played on our vacation, we fall in love all over again.
- Bring massage oils or lotion. People love being touched and massaged. Massage feels better when you aren’t worried about the kids or chores around the house.
- Both of you should bring an attitude of letting go, slowing down, and loving each other.
Have a wonderful vacation. Couples who vacation together without the kids at least
once a year are saying to one another you are important, and our marriage is what
holds this whole family together.- Mary Jo Rapini
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