Married to your Saboteur

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Married to your Saboteur
Sometimes the person you count on the most to help is the one trying to keep you down. Tips to help.

1. If the friend is only an occasional friend or person you deal with, cutting off communication during your working toward your goal may be wise. If your saboteur is a family member, this may be impossible, but otherwise, since they aren’t a real friend anyway, I would let them go.
2. State your goals clearly to your supportive friends, and have them with you whenever you are engaged with these family members or fake friends you cannot cut out of your life. That way, your supportive friends can help support your mission in the midst of naysayers.
3. Minimize the amount of focus you give your goals when in the presence of fake friends. Since fake friends focus on their own goals and needs, they won’t miss what you don’t bring up.
4. Become more comfortable being alone. Having fake friends drains a lot of energy. Save that energy you give away to fake friends to accomplish more of what you want to in life.

In order to become the best version of ourselves, we need to set goals. Real friends support our goals and want the best for us. If you set a goal and notice others trying to dissuade you or make you feel less fun, less worthwhile, or shamed in any way, that is a red flag the person you thought was a friend is terrified of their failure if you succeed. Gently back away and leave the room. –Mary Jo Rapini

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Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
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