Self, Heartbreak

Are You Married To A Control Freak?

3. Work on your own self esteem. Controllers are actually terrified of failure so they usually never admit when something is their fault. Rarely do they say they are sorry. Therefore, you end up feeling like everything is your fault. It’s not. You are not the failure. If you can do the things that make you feel good about yourself, you can begin to be more assertive and less likely to be used as a doormat.

4. Decide on a plan to work out the relationship or leave. The most important thing about your plan is it has a limited time so you have control over it. If you are thinking of changing your controller forget it. The controller is the only one who can control themselves and their behavior. If a controller does not change their controlling behavior they usually worsen with time instead of growing more mellow.

Relationships take negotiation skills and the ability to be flexible. A controlling person lacks both of these very important skills. If they are able to see what they are doing to their spouse, they can make changes. However, for them to be able to evaluate and understand how it feels to be controlled is very difficult. Enter these relationships at your own risk and take control of your own needs if you have to get out. I am a marriage advocate, but living with a true “controller” is not something I advocate. –Mary Jo Rapini-

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http://houston.cbslocal.com/2011/07/06/dos-and-donts-after-the-breakup/

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