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3 Actions That Won't Save Your Marriage

By . Posted on .

couple fighting
A simple solution to cure, fix, and restore your marriage.
Having a baby, building a house, or getting plastic surgery won't fix your marriage.

2. Words like never, always, should, can't and won't are less effective than "I feel" statements. Begin thinking more of the present. What can you do today that will make it better? Couples who begin to think about forever become more stressed. Marriage is a lifestyle, but its strength is in its ability to grow and change with both partners.

3. Never go more than 12 hours without touching or connecting in some way. The more you touch your partner, the less you talk, and the more you listen, the stronger the marriage. A good rule of thumb is to say one sentence to your spouse's three. Practice, Practice, Practice.Why Touch Matters in Relationships

More from YourTango: No connection

4. Seek a good counselor or mediator. It is wise to tell the therapist or mediator up-front that you have marital discord and need mentoring with resolving the issues. This way the therapist or mediator can understand exactly what you want. When everyone is focused on helping you resolve the issues, the chances of success are high.

More from YourTango: WANTED: Previously Married and Attractive Males

Many of the couples I work with did not have good mentors to resolve marital discord. Therefore, they panicked when they didn't get along. Their mentors (many times their parents) used the "fixes" discussed in this article only to divorce later. There are other options. Having a baby, a new home, or plastic surgery can be wonderful events, but not if you end up losing the person you wanted to share them with the most.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
Other Articles/News by Mary Jo Rapini:

No connection

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http://www.myfoxhouston.com/story/22238221/2013/05/13/when-your-partner-cant-emotionally-connect   There is a disorder that is making more and more sense into why couples break up. The personality trait is called “Alexithymia,” and it renders the person it affects unable to communicate their feelings or understand their feelings as ... Read more

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When you hear the word 'Puma', you may think of an athletic shoe or a cougar’s little sister. But in the U.K., however, it is taking on a new meaning. A 'Puma' is a previously married and attractive man that women who want to get married seek to find. These women are choosing experience over youth, and they believe that divorced men make ... Read more

3 ways to talk so he hears you

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                                      The underlying problem in most relationships is lack of communication. This usually involves couples feeling like their partners don’t listen to them. Women seem to complain about this more than men. Women usually talk ... Read more

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