3 Actions That Won't Save Your Marriage

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couple fighting
Having a baby, building a house, or getting plastic surgery won't fix your marriage.

2. Words like never, always, should, can't and won't are less effective than "I feel" statements. Begin thinking more of the present. What can you do today that will make it better? Couples who begin to think about forever become more stressed. Marriage is a lifestyle, but its strength is in its ability to grow and change with both partners.

3. Never go more than 12 hours without touching or connecting in some way. The more you touch your partner, the less you talk, and the more you listen, the stronger the marriage. A good rule of thumb is to say one sentence to your spouse's three. Practice, Practice, Practice.Why Touch Matters in Relationships

4. Seek a good counselor or mediator. It is wise to tell the therapist or mediator up-front that you have marital discord and need mentoring with resolving the issues. This way the therapist or mediator can understand exactly what you want. When everyone is focused on helping you resolve the issues, the chances of success are high.

Many of the couples I work with did not have good mentors to resolve marital discord. Therefore, they panicked when they didn't get along. Their mentors (many times their parents) used the "fixes" discussed in this article only to divorce later. There are other options. Having a baby, a new home, or plastic surgery can be wonderful events, but not if you end up losing the person you wanted to share them with the most.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

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