1. Make sure you are talking to a counselor to help you navigate your feelings. Venting to your friends, parents, and children is not helpful and can actually isolate you. Children can be emotionally damaged when parents talk badly about an ex, so confide in a counselor and one or two close friends.
2. Exercise and make it part of your daily life. Exercise helps motivate you when you feel too fatigued to go on, and it also restores your body image. If you cannot exercise by yourself, ask a good friend to walk, run, or go to the gym with you.
3. Join at least one support group or a like-minded group. This will help you minimize your aloneness and it will also get you out into the community.
4. Minimize meeting up with your ex as much as possible. The more you engage with your ex, the more difficult it can be moving on.
5. Continue enjoying the events you used to. You may not “feel” the same enjoyment at the same deep level, but eventually you will.
Going on with a new life you never wanted or chose is painful. More painful yet is being stuck in your life when it really doesn’t feel like yours anymore. Many times, the partner left feels revengeful, and although this is a common feeling (don’t beat yourself up for feeling it), you have to eventually give up on that too. Before you give up on that feeling though, remember…the best revenge is becoming the best version of you. This includes taking care of your emotional/spiritual health, your children’s health, and your physical health. You will make it, even though your heart may be breaking. You are strong, you will survive, and you will continue to grow, change and love again. –Mary Jo Rapini
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