You cannot put love on a shelf and if you are ready to be married but your partner is not, the best thing you can do is be very clear up front with your intention. Living together is not the same as marriage. People who live together prior to engagement or marriage are saying "I like you, but I don't like/love you enough to want to share my life with you." When you hear "Let's move in together," it's important that you also hear "I don't like/value you enough to marry you, but sharing a place with you would be fun, economical, and less stressful" (there are many reasons other than commitment to cohabitate).
There are two situations that don't seem to affect marital longevity and yet the couple is living together:
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- If the couple is engaged to be married within 6 months.
- If the couple is over 80 years of age.
If you love someone enough to marry them, then I suggest when/if they ask you to move in with them you reply assertively and lovingly, "I love you enough to spend my life with you." "I don't want a boy/girlfriend; I want you to be my wife/husband." At this point, have an exit in mind, and say nothing more. Leave. Let them think it over; the ball is in their court. You have left them knowing you love them, and were strong enough to advocate your intention. 10 Ways To Make Your Marriage Last 10 Years
–Mary Jo Rapini
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