The Problem With Keeping Score In A Relationship

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The Problem With Keeping Score In A Relationship [EXPERT]
Plus: 5 tips for those inclined to go tit for tat.

4. Teach this to your kids. Whenever you hear your children bring up fairness or score keeping remind them that in this family you do not keep score. Kids are reminders of what we are doing every day. Sometimes correcting them helps us.

5. Keeping score is done with people who are afraid of being vulnerable and direct. The more you are able to tell your spouse directly how you feel without blaming them, the less likely you will need to keep score.

 

For most of us, keeping score is a nuisance. We may see it among our friends or family, and not in our own homes. Marriages erode for many reasons, but lack of healthy communication is still the number one reason. Small things like being aware of how you treat your partner or what sorts of messages you send them, goes a long way with healthy communication in your family.

At day's end, a healthy marriage score looks pretty even more or less, depending on the day and time in your life. Some days you may give more, and other days your partner gives more. Be the best spouse you can be and let God keep score.

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Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

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Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
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