9. If you don’t want sex, and your partner does, hold their face in your hands and tell them you want to have sex when you aren’t too tired to enjoy it. Most partners will handle rejection better if they know it has to do with your limitations rather than their inability to please you. It would be good for you to schedule sex for the next day and make sure you follow through.
10. When you are torn, and you want to vent or tell your partner how you feel, know that most likely it will be more effective if you touch them in a loving way while you are telling them how you feel. Sitting on a sofa across the room and venting about your needs is a sure way not to get resolution.
Men and women think differently. When we get married many times we expect our spouse to understand us and use the type of communication with which we are most comfortable. A wiser decision may be to come up with a plan to talk less about your problems, and to act more with physical expression in solving your marital concerns. I know a lot of couples who were unsuccessful with words when they were trying to work on issues in their marriage. I don’t know as many who were unsuccessful with touch. –Mary Jo Rapini
*Please note. Many people don’t like being groped or pawed. If you want to add excitement and not get accused of either of these behaviors, try an ostrich feather or faux fur mittens. This adds an element of fun, and that is what good communication and intimacy is all about.
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