I Like You as a Friend


I Like You as a Friend
Are you in love with your best friend? Feel like you need to tell them? Prepare yourself first.

All of us have had that one special person we fantasized about and thought would be a perfect spouse. This person is usually a good friend, and as the friendship begins to grow we also become extremely attracted to them physically and emotionally. It isn’t long before we desire them day and night, and will put ourselves out there to “help” them in any way we can. If they call us, it makes our day! If they don’t, we feel alone and neglected. We finally get the courage to tell them how we feel, and we know the minute we say it, we shouldn’t have. They don’t feel the same, and many times you have to look away from their face so it doesn’t hurt. They begin to say, “I don’t feel the same way.” Or they may say, “I love you, but not that way.” It hurts. We are devastated, and we don’t know what to do. We usually say, “I know, I just wanted you to know how I felt.”
It’s such a rite of passage that when one of our friends goes through it, we may be flippant and say, “Yeah, I know, you’ll get over it.” At the time, it doesn’t feel like you will get over it. It feels like you may have lost your very best friend and the only person you will ever love. Many love stories feature the person that never did get over it, and grew old waiting as their “friend” married someone else.
If you recently found out that your best friend likes you as a friend only and is not attracted to you sexually, there are things you can do right away that will promote the healing process.
1. To begin to get your head right you need to understand your friend cannot control how they feel. When you are attracted to someone it is “chemistry,” and many other illogical things. If they were honest enough to tell you the truth, that was a true test of the friendship.
2. Don’t try to rebel by making your friend jealous
. They are your friend for other reasons. They will begin feeling bad about being honest, and this will make them a superficial friend, not the friend you had.
3. Write down what you love about your friend. These are characteristics you are looking for. Most people aren’t able to identify what they want in another person and that makes it difficult to find. You already know, which should make the search easier.
4. Ask your friend for insights into why they love you for a friend. Listing these positive qualities will help build your confidence.
5. Begin taking better care of yourself. When you have a broken heart, many times you let other things go. Exercising and eating healthy are going to make you feel more confident and comfortable in your own skin.
6. Tell your friend you may need some time away to get your thoughts right and feel better.
They will understand, and probably feel honored even more to have you as a friend.
7. Many times when we care about someone, we give ourselves away too easily. Make boundaries for yourself. The next time your friend needs you, make sure you are available if you are, but begin advocating for your own time. Don’t renege on a date with someone new to hear your best friend’s latest sob story.

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini


For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
Other Articles/News by Mary Jo Rapini:

Baby Boomers: Take Your Marriage From Boring To Blissful!


Boomers have always been independent and have made their own way. Nowhere is that showing up more than in marital status. Since 1990, the divorce rate has gone down in the United States for everyone but the boomers. Those over 50 years of age have seen divorce rates double, and if you're over fifty, you've probably seen several of your friends split ... Read more

A Soul Mate Isn't A Soul Mate Without These 4 Things


Time Magazine recently reported on a concept many of us have, "That good marriages and relationships are based on finding our soul mate or our perfect one." This expectation is shaped by society's focus on physical attraction and messages from our friends, family and our favorite television shows, none of which are actually true as far as having a ... Read more

Is Aging Part Of Your Promotion?


Does Climbing the Career Ladder Age You? When you look at photos of President Obama before his presidency and currently, there is no doubt he has aged. In fact, the historical evidence of what being the President of the United States does to speed up the aging process can be seen throughout the ages. From President Lincoln to George Bush, the aging evidence ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular