Hurt feelings are hiding under resentment

By Mary Jo Rapini. Posted on Mar 13th 2011.

When you find yourself feeling resentful and angry at someone, hurt feelings are often the cause.

Dear Readers,

Due to an overwhelming response with emails after my article/blog “Sleeping with the Enemy,” I decided to write in a different format. I received 183 letters from people all over the U.S. (the article was posted in Chicago as well as the East Coast), and I found myself feeling limited and unhelpful with my template, explaining I was not authorized to give out individual advice. I decided to take a letter from one of my readers, change the names, and post it here for all of you. The letters were incredibly similar, and my intention is that this will help you in your own life and relationship. Thank you to the reader who let me use their letter….what a gift you offered me to share.

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Dear Mary Jo,
I read all of your articles, watch you on TV, listen to you on Mix 96-5, and watch for you on HLN and CNN. Your article on “Sleeping with the Enemy” brought tears to my eyes. I was sad all day, and when my husband (Joe) came home, I showed the article to him. He looked at me and walked away. We have been married for 8 years. We have two beautiful children ages 7 and 3. My husband is a wonderful dad and provider. He and I have no marriage though. We don’t talk or touch, and we haven’t had sex for months. I feel alone and have begun criticizing him. He doesn’t want to hear me talk, and usually to avoid a fight he walks away. All we share is the kids. Two years before I was married, I was dating a man who treated me terribly. Everyone use to tell me how beautiful I was, and wondered why I stayed with such a creep. Inside I felt ugly and hollow until I met Joe. He was everything the guy who dated me wasn’t. Now I am finding myself feeling like he is just like the guy I use to date. He doesn’t care about me, hurts my feelings, and takes me for granted. I know you believe in marriage, can you help me save mine? Thank you for all you do, Erica

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Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

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