Five musts before having sex with an ex

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Five musts before having sex with an ex
Having sex with an ex is 99.9% likely to fail. If you pursue in spite of this, consider your reasons

2. Understand that although you may be able to have a sexual/physical relationship with your ex, your ex may not be able to handle a sexual relationship without trying to work on repairing the relationship. Be very clear up front with your expectations. If your intentions are to meet for sex without any other emotional obligations, make sure this is communicated to your ex.

3. If there are children involved don’t spend the night with your ex in your home. This is confusing for children. Divorce and separations are very painful and children hold a fantasy of having their mom and dad work things out. If you are on again and off again it causes anxiety and depression in children and most adults.

4. Wear protection. An ex is an ex because someone acted out in the relationship. No matter what your ex tells you, wear protection. There is no way of telling how many STDs happen with ex with benefits behavior, and how many pregnancies happen during this time.

5. No matter what you say verbally, sex with an ex is expressing to your ex that you are willing to settle for the way they treated you in the past as long as you can have sex with them. Make sure this is what you want to communicate to your ex. Most of the time when a relationship ends it means it was broken. Settling for the brokenness will deteriorate your self esteem and any respect you have for yourself.

Before you rationalize that it’s just sex, be sure you understand clearly what your motives are as well as your ex’s. There is a consequence with every behavior, and in this case the consequences are not worth the time invested emotionally or physically. The loneliest feeling you will ever have is waking up to realize it was just sex.

–Mary Jo Rapini

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @ Mary Jo Rapini
Join me every Thursday Morning on “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” on Fox 26 at 9 a.m.

Don’t forget to join me every Friday Morning on “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo” on Fox 26 at 8a.m.
 

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
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