How To Not Let Work Affect Your Sex Life

By

How To Not Let Work Affect Your Sex Life
Work comes second to your intimacy/sex life in a marriage. Prioritizing helps you find the time.

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/story/19147927/both-of-us-are-working-but-are-we-having-enough-sex


Kinsey Institute last reported that 13% of married couples reported having sex a few times a year. 45% reported having sex a few times per month, 34%reported sex 2-3 times per week, and 7% reported having sex 4 or more times per week. These numbers are being more and more affected by the dual income, no sex population, which continues to grow. The majority of the couples I see come in with sexual/intimacy issues and they should, that’s the kind of therapy I specialize in. However, the problems they are concerned about are no longer the ones involving the mechanics of sex; the problems are due to the timing of sex. Couples are frustrated, tired, overwhelmed, and although sex is a great cure for coping with stress, it only works if both partners have the energy to engage in sex. For many couples, this leaves one or both partners avoiding sex, because they are too tired or disengaged with their partner.

 

The majority of couples I work with have a scenario where the man is frustrated because he wants sex so he can feel intimate with his partner. His partner wants to feel intimate so she can desire sex. This scenario is played out with anger, resentment, and stress, and often times the couple growing so distant that the only way they can enjoy sex is to leave on a vacation. This in itself may not be a bad choice if you can get away frequently. However, for most of us who get a vacation once a year, and then take the kids with us, that is not enough sex to keep our relationship, our minds, or bodies healthy.

With couple’s sex, there really is no normal number of times to have sex. The important objective is both partners should be satisfied with the number of times they engage in sex within their relationship. Partners who don’t have enough focus on it, and it can become the elephant in the room that both partners feel, but neither knows how to talk about it without irritating the other partner. The majority of the time, the more sex you have in your marriage, the happier the couple reports being. Also, having an active sex life is healthier for your body and mind, and there is usually a deeper soulful felt connection reported. Understanding this, it is strongly encouraged to prioritize intimacy and sex within your relationship. If it isn’t working for you and your partner these suggestions may help.

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
Other Articles/News by Mary Jo Rapini:

5 Signs You Are Unhappy With Your Life (And 5 Ways To Fix It)

By

Everyone has times when they contemplate, "Is this all there is?" You have he job, the kids, the new house, and you're still feeling as though something is missing. That feeling of being lost or misguided in your life can happen for a variety of reasons, but sometimes realizing that you’re lost is the toughest part. If you find yourself ... Read more

Make It Spicy! 7 Steamy Ways To Boost Intimacy—With FOOD

By

Food plays a major role in intimate relationships. I'm not talking about quick, easy, in-and-out types of meals. I'm talking about lovingly and thoughtfully prepared food. There's a big difference—and taking part in the "good stuff" helps you get more of the good stuff in your relationships (openness, trust and comfort), ... Read more

Even A Healthy Marriage Has Its Hard Times

By

I read an article recently about a couple that shared their marriage story. In the story the author (the husband) told the reader how his wife came to him one day and asked to talk with him. She talked about their two lovely girls, their fun social life and then she threw him a "verbal bomb" he didn't expect. She said her life at home was ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular