Better sex with optimistic people

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Better sex with optimistic people
The habit of becoming an optimist directly affects your sex life in a positive way. 3 easy tips now.

Learning how to become an optimist regarding your intimacy and sex life is not easy, but it is possible. Choosing to see things in a positive light is as easy as choosing to see it negatively, but like the development of any habit you have to practice. Choosing pessimism may be ingrained if you grew up with it in your own family of origin. In this case, what you grew up with has to be re-taped or taped over with positive thinking. Joel Black, Ph.D. has these suggestions for re-taping pessimistic tapes into optimistic sexually healthy tapes.

1. Understand that temporary conditions aren’t permanent or indicative of what is to come. A pessimist says, “I can’t get an erection; I must be impotent,” while an optimist says, “I can’t get an erection because I’m tired and ate and drank too much tonight; I’ll try in the morning.”
2. Be specific. A pessimist may say, “Sam didn’t call after our first date; I’m a loser,” while an optimist says, “Sam may not be interested in a relationship with me, but there are plenty of other men.”
3. Don’t assume everything that happens is because of you. A pessimist says, “Jill didn’t like me,” while an optimist says, “Jill may not be ready for a relationship.”

Couples who have the healthiest relationships are those that embrace each other and what life offers. To think your sex life doesn’t require change and learning to get better with age is shortsighted. Optimists not only have better sex lives, but they are more successful in parenting, business, and being healthier. Anyone can become an optimist at any age or stage in life. If you find yourself looking pessimistically at your partner, “re-taping” some of those messages you are hearing and verbalizing may help to restore your sex life. –Mary Jo Rapini


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Tags: Sex, Sex Liife, Relationships, Marriage, Optimist, Pessimist, Intimacy,
 

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
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