Bad sex isn't contagious but it can infect your marriage

By

Bad sex isn't contagious but it can infect your marriage
The constancy of marriage makes bad sex once in awhile more likely. Bad sex proof your marriage.


When you watch TV, your favorite show on your iPad or look through a magazine, one thing appears very clear. Others are having great sex. If you are feeling as though yours doesn’t compare, you may begin wondering what is wrong with your sex life. This would be an error in your thinking, because TV sex, magazine sex, and other media forms of sex are rarely true. They are airbrushed and taken in short, carefully scripted clips. There is no passion on the set, and the actors don’t have bad breath, stinky socks, or bad timing. Real life includes all of these scenarios and more, leading to bad sex.
The longer you are married to the same person the more chances you will have to experience bad sex at some time. Whether you drank too much, didn’t brush your teeth, forgot deodorant that evening, or were in too big of a rush, your partner will be your final critic, and most likely they will label the event as “Bad Sex.” We all give bad sex to our partner at some time within our marriage. If our mind is on other things, or we are taking our partner for granted, or we want the stress relief with as little effort as possible, we are the makers of bad sex.
Bad sex isn’t contagious. You cannot catch it from your partner nor can he catch it from you. However, if bad sex continues day after day, week after week, the marriage is sure to become infected. You will know when that has happened because one of the partners is totally turned off and no longer wants sex with their partner. They may continue to read romance novels, playboy or playgirl magazines, but when it comes to having sex with you, they seem to be continuously busy. If you don’t intervene as soon as you begin being aware of this, your marriage may not survive.
Talking about sex isn’t easy, and it is never wise to talk about sex when you are angry for not getting any sex. Talking about sex should be done when both people are relaxed and enjoying their time together. Asking your partner why they don’t want sex will make them defensive. However, if you ask them what you can do in order to help them want sex more with you, this may open them up to begin talking. You may find out it isn’t you, but something you are doing or not doing that is shutting them down. Erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation can also cause couples to turn away from sex. Hormone imbalances may affect the mind as well as the physical body. A trip to see the Urologist, Gynecologist or Primary Physician may be all that’s necessary to minimize a problem a couple has suffered for years. The biggest problem with bad sex is getting over the embarrassment of talking about it with your partner and a health care professional. Below are suggestions of how to begin the intervention of communicating with your partner about bad sex before it infects your marriage.
1. Understanding that a healthy sex life is as much a predictor of your overall health as a healthy heart is the first step.  Both women and men must own their sexuality. If you feel that you don’t really care or deserve to have a healthy sexual relationship with your spouse, that feeling alone can infect your marriage and ruin your sex life.

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
Other Articles/News by Mary Jo Rapini:

Baby Boomers: Take Your Marriage From Boring To Blissful!

By

Boomers have always been independent and have made their own way. Nowhere is that showing up more than in marital status. Since 1990, the divorce rate has gone down in the United States for everyone but the boomers. Those over 50 years of age have seen divorce rates double, and if you're over fifty, you've probably seen several of your friends split ... Read more

A Soul Mate Isn't A Soul Mate Without These 4 Things

By

Time Magazine recently reported on a concept many of us have, "That good marriages and relationships are based on finding our soul mate or our perfect one." This expectation is shaped by society's focus on physical attraction and messages from our friends, family and our favorite television shows, none of which are actually true as far as having a ... Read more

Is Aging Part Of Your Promotion?

By

Does Climbing the Career Ladder Age You? When you look at photos of President Obama before his presidency and currently, there is no doubt he has aged. In fact, the historical evidence of what being the President of the United States does to speed up the aging process can be seen throughout the ages. From President Lincoln to George Bush, the aging evidence ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular