Are You In A Relationship With A Bully?

By

Are You In A Relationship With A Bully?
We hear about kids being bullies, but what happens when a child bully grows up to be a "big bully?"

If you are trying to work on your marriage with a bully here are a few suggestions that may make it easier to cope with them. When and if abuse is part of the relationship the best choice is to separate. Keep this separation until your spouse can come to terms with their behavior and accept that they have problems that must be worked out for the marriage to survive. The only person you can change in this relationship is yourself and your reactions to your spouse’s behavior. Being as direct as possible with your bully spouse will help them know how far they can push you. It will begin to make you feel more in control of what your choices are.

  • When your bully spouse treats you well, always tell them you appreciate the way they are communicating with you.
  • As much as possible, nurture your relationship with continued time alone and communicate with one another about the vision for your marriage.
  • Using “I feel” statements helps your spouse not become defensive and also helps you define and claim what you are feeling Be honest with yourself and stop covering for your spouse when they are demonstrating bully behavior.
  • Whenever possible let your spouse receive the natural consequences they will from their bully behavior.
  • One of the worst things about being married to a bully is they demonstrate and mentor their behavior for their children.

An open, honest relationship where both spouses can discuss the behavior and work toward eliminating it together is the best treatment approach.

 

–Mary Jo Rapini


For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Tweet me: @maryjorapini
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Join me every Thursday Morning on “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” on Fox 26 at 9 a.m.
 

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
Other Articles/News by Mary Jo Rapini:

6 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Hot When You Have Little Kids

By

Today's young families have pressures that families of long ago may not have had. Parents both work with the pressure of taking kids to school, lack of sleep, alternating who takes off sick time when their child gets sick and trying to excel in their own careers. Stress over time begins deteriorating marriage happiness, which is a leading cause of divorce ... Read more

Sleeping In The Nude: Does What You Wear To Bed Affect Intimacy?

By

A recent survey published by Cotton USA reveals that 57 percent of married couples who sleep nude report being happy with their partner. Roughly half of all couples do sleep nude and approximately half of those are over the age of 55. Is it the nudity itself helping couples feel happier with their partner or is the nudity symbolic for something deeper that ... Read more

5 Ways To Survive A Friend Unfriending You

By

A group of my colleagues and friends were talking about losing good friends. One of my friends' situations was a job promotion and a change of location. Her friend cut her off, didn't want to be her friend anymore, and un-friended her on Facebook, leaving her feeling confused and mistrusting. Had this person been a friend at all? Another friend told ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.