Are You In A Relationship With A Bully?

By

Are You In A Relationship With A Bully?
We hear about kids being bullies, but what happens when a child bully grows up to be a "big bully?"

If you are trying to work on your marriage with a bully here are a few suggestions that may make it easier to cope with them. When and if abuse is part of the relationship the best choice is to separate. Keep this separation until your spouse can come to terms with their behavior and accept that they have problems that must be worked out for the marriage to survive. The only person you can change in this relationship is yourself and your reactions to your spouse’s behavior. Being as direct as possible with your bully spouse will help them know how far they can push you. It will begin to make you feel more in control of what your choices are.

  • When your bully spouse treats you well, always tell them you appreciate the way they are communicating with you.
  • As much as possible, nurture your relationship with continued time alone and communicate with one another about the vision for your marriage.
  • Using “I feel” statements helps your spouse not become defensive and also helps you define and claim what you are feeling Be honest with yourself and stop covering for your spouse when they are demonstrating bully behavior.
  • Whenever possible let your spouse receive the natural consequences they will from their bully behavior.
  • One of the worst things about being married to a bully is they demonstrate and mentor their behavior for their children.

An open, honest relationship where both spouses can discuss the behavior and work toward eliminating it together is the best treatment approach.

 

–Mary Jo Rapini


For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Tweet me: @maryjorapini
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Join me every Thursday Morning on “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” on Fox 26 at 9 a.m.
 

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
Other Articles/News by Mary Jo Rapini:

Taking your marriage from boring to blissful; in the second half

By

  Boomers have always been independent and have made their own way.  Nowhere is that showing up more than in marital status. Since 1990, the divorce rate has gone down in the United States for everyone but the boomers. Those over 50 years of age have seen divorce rates double, and if you’re over fifty, you probably have seen several of your ... Read more

A Soul Mate Isn't A Soul Mate Without These 4 Things

By

Time Magazine recently reported on a concept many of us have, "That good marriages and relationships are based on finding our soul mate or our perfect one." This expectation is shaped by society's focus on physical attraction and messages from our friends, family and our favorite television shows, none of which are actually true as far as having a ... Read more

Is Aging Part Of Your Promotion?

By

Does Climbing the Career Ladder Age You? When you look at photos of President Obama before his presidency and currently, there is no doubt he has aged. In fact, the historical evidence of what being the President of the United States does to speed up the aging process can be seen throughout the ages. From President Lincoln to George Bush, the aging evidence ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular