3. You begin to think of your friend all the time. You begin having sexual fantasies and you notice there is a sexual tension with the two of you.
4. You pay extra attention to how you look when you see this friend.
5. You try to find ways to be alone with this person.
6. You begin to lie for this person so no one will find out what is really going on.
7. Time of day is not important as long as you can see this person.
Stopping an EA is a lot easier said than done. Many people report taking small strides by eliminating their face book conversations or Emails, but there is still the phone, and text. This makes the emotional affair even stronger as you are now building an additional risk trying to cut it off. Most experts in the field of marital therapy suggest cutting it off completely and fast. The reason this method works best is you get a chance to grieve it, and redirect your energy and time back into your relationship and partner. As long as there is even one form of communication open the threat is still there. People have quit jobs, moved and changed passwords on Email accounts as well as face book. After you cut off the affair your life will feel empty and alone. Filling it with close friends, family and new hobbies will bring back stability in your life and relationship. The following are some quick tips to get you back and help you heal.
1. Take a class with your partner/spouse. Dance classes, financial classes, or a martial enrichment course are all good ideas. A new class or activity will help distract your thoughts from your friend, add novelty to your relationship and refocus attention to your marriage and/or relationship where it needs to be.
2. Make dates to get together with your friends. Filling your life with friends is marriage friendly and also helps prevent feeling isolated and lonely.
3. Do something for yourself. Get more involved in your spiritual activities, or exercise program. Taking care of you will reinforce your health and a healthy lifestyle (which will also exclude the EA).
Being involved in an EA does not cause divorce. Not ending one will. Noticing the signs and acting on them is the surest cure. –Mary Jo Rapini
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