Lately, there’s a HUGE divide in family relationships and everyone is talking about it. It could be your siblings, your children your parents and even your friends. Well, you get the idea. Inherent in basically every relationship is you think that the other person just innately understands what you expect from them, and the same is true visa-versa.
As I discuss in my book - Recovering from Divorce: 7 Steps to Recover Without Drama to Create a New Life; “In any relationship, when you set up expectations for your partner, you are usually bound to be disappointed. The main reason for this is that your partner usually doesn’t even know that there are expectations placed on her, and thereby is bound to fail. Even if she does know, she cannot really grasp your full meaning of your expectations. She can’t live up to the unrealistic goals that you have set up for her in your own mind. If you go into a relationship without have undue expectations from someone, your relationship can grow naturally and flow easily. Another way to look at is to say you can’t control someone else’s feelings and actions. An expectation from someone is just a different form of controlling that person.”
So how do you overcome these types of relationships? It takes a great amount of restraint on your part, and it’s very important for you to understand that is starts with you. First begin by adopting the notion of “Don’t take anything personally”, if you can go through each day of your life going forward that whatever anyone is telling you, it’s more about what’s happening in their life than directly at you, you can begin to see more clearly that it’s not really that important. Over the last few years, I have accepted the notion of “what you think of me is none of my business.
If you can embrace the “Don’t take anything personally concept”, the next concept in just a small step ahead, “No Assumptions/No Expectations”. If you establish in any relationship that honest communication coupled with a full understanding of what’s next, you don’t have to worry that you might not live up to their expectations. This is the only way to really achieve true harmony in any relationship so you can travel the road of no expectations.
To learn more about this subject, join me & my co-host Amy Dawidowicz on our internet radio show on Monday night September 9th at 8:30 PM ET on the Life Coach Chat Cannel on Blog Talk Radio, titled “Expectations within Relationships”.
Martin Salama is a life coach specializing in Divorce Recovery. He is the author of the recently published book
To learn more about Martin's coaching program and how to discover how to have the best relationships without expectations visit him at his site