Working through the deep sorrow that no one talks about.
The fact of the matter is, it’s ok to feel bad after a break up. Especially if you have been together for a long time. You have shared everything from checking accounts to the same tastes in DVR recordings. You have to allow yourself time to heal. Whatever reason the break up occurred , whether it was one sided or not, you are left with half an empty closet where before you didn’t have enough space for your “too many shoes.” That extra set of dishes you kept in the pantry just in case lots of guests came over, is now gone along with the box of extra wine glasses. All the little extras that made both your lives just a little more comfortable, are gone. Those voids that remind you of another life when you were a part of a partnership with the other half that made promises to honor and cherish til death do you part are now all gone.
It’s ok to hurt and it’s ok to cry. You need that time to heal but here’s the rub. With every tumble and fall, there is stand up and shake it off. The problem with feeling hurt, it eventually gets old. All your friends have patted you in the back and have said their “Poor BABY” AND “He wasn’t worth the effort” then went back to their needlepoint. Even the best of friends will grow tired of the drama and leave you sitting all alone on your pitty pot. Now you feel that knock down isolation. The loneliest you have ever felt. So lonely, your heart breaks as regular as the ticking of a clock.
Heavy sigh, so now what? Start a kennel for wayward cats? Don’t even think it. NEED I SAY? Time to pull yourself up by your bra straps and empower yourself by getting out of the house at social events, hang out with friends, shop for more shoes. Be anywhere but home looking at the phone waiting for him to call. Ladies stalking your ex on social media is NOT considered a social event. Many cities have on-line meet-up clubs where you can meet people of “Like” interest. There is bound to be something you would be of interest. Find a happy healthy routine that fills your day. Whether it be running, hiking, karaoke, the local wine tasting club.
Funny thing about woman, when we do things for ourselves like workout, primp, shop, hang out with our friends, we produce a lovely little chemical called Oxytocin into our system that pretty much makes us “Glow.” What happens when a woman glows? Well first, she is happy lighthearted a pleasure to be around. Second, she becomes more attractive to the opposite sex (that should send the ex into bonus frenzy). Third, she is more productive at work and at home. Hmmmm there’s an avalanche of good stuff happening once you get past the healing.
More Juicy Content From YourTango:
- Relationship In Limbo? Use The Breakup Formula?
- How To Move On From A Painful Breakup
- Stay Together Or Break Up? How To Decide Now