We live in two worlds: the external and internal. Our external world is a reflection of our internal world. Many of us choose to ignore this until we’re given a wake-up call that we’re not happy or satisfied with the cards dealt: our marriages fall apart, we are faced with illness, we lose our job, we cannot find a long term relationship, or we get passed over again at work. Understanding that our internal world drives what happens to us in the “real” world is the first step to overcoming and rising above the lessons we need to learn in this lifetime. The second step is realizing we are not in this alone. Having the courage to ask for help opens the door to health and love so we can heal from these fears and hurts to achieve our dreams and become a better person in the process.
Our thoughts and feelings, values and beliefs, life purpose and truths are often what drive our actions and interactions with others in the real world. However, in our society we often believe that bad and good things happen to us by chance and luck, and therefore we have no control over the outcomes. Where we really do ourselves a disservice is when we also believe or feel that we’re alone in our struggles, the only ones going through a rough patch, or that our setback is unique.
What inhibits us from exploring our inner world is often fear. Fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of a block being too difficult to overcome. When we don’t address our inner world, i.e. we do everything we can to run from or ignore it, then it can become a little like Groundhog Day. We keep repeating our mistakes, expecting different results. It can take some of us 10, 20, 30, 40 years to stop the insanity. Some of us choose to never address what’s in our closet.
When we become tired, frustrated, angry, and disgusted with our present situation—this is when we often decide to change and do something different. It doesn’t have to always be this way. The sooner we realize discord between our inner reality and external reality the simplest solution is: ask for help. Asking for support from other people strengthens us when we do not have the knowledge or resources within ourselves to overcome what we’re working through. This is the key to having a rewarding life.
We’re not meant to solve our problems or issues alone. As humans our most profound growth comes from being in relationship with others.
It’s when we expose our ugly thoughts, our turmoil, our grief, our anger—and ask someone to help lead us through this process or keep us accountable once we wade into our own sludge that we find out we are not alone. That when we clean up our inner world, and remove our fear blocks, then our intimate relationships becomes stronger, more satisfying, and we find inner peace.