Finding harmony after you’ve had a baby is every mom’s reality. Balancing our own passions and interests, with our added responsibilities of growing and nurturing a baby is one of the most rewarding occupations we will ever have in our lives. On the list of new job skills is parent, but if you want the baby’s father to be alongside of and with you every step of the way add sexy mom to your skill set to cultivate as well.
All too often I cringe when I hear about another celebrity flaunting their baby bump like Beyonce recently did during the MTV movie awards. Why? Because I see a celebrity making their next marketing and branding move. No matter how much makeup is applied, and how carefully they choose to craft their announcement—it has no basis in our reality. Reading your friend’s updates on the progression of their pregnancies—there’s everything from sympathy about morning sickness, to comparing baby bump sizes, how much weight is gained…but then after the baby has been born you see a shift into mommy concerns. Moms band together and share parenting dos and don’ts. Some people even repeatedly make public declarations of their love of their baby’s father as if to convince the world that they are still head over heels in love.
I am extremely happy for them (celebrities and friends alike), and I applaud that they have the means to provide for their growing family—but the piece that seems to be missing all too often is focus on discussing, planning, and acquiring good parenting skills. Not to mention how to keep the marriage together through the stress of pregnancy and the first year of a baby’s life.
Here are a few tips to keep you fabulous as you fit into the sexy mom role of a lifetime—with the same guy sticking around with you and your kids.
1. Create Beauty Moments Daily
Producing oxytocin, your stress-reducing hormone, is critical as your uterus shrinks back down, and you get the hang of feeding a newborn. Breastfeeding is one way, but new research shows there is so much more we can do to ourselves to produce oxytocin in abundance. Making appointments for a massage or to get your hair cut or colored works two-fold. When we anticipate a nurturing or relaxing activity, we produce oxytocin. Likewise non-physical touch produces oxytocin as well. Cuddling with dad and baby are great oxytocin producers, but it is also important to take little breaks where the focus of nurturing and pleasuring is on you mom. Nobody else’s needs first. Doing your hair, taking time to put on makeup, an uninterrupted bubble bath with candles…all oxytocin producers.
2. Romantic Parenting Dinners
Lighting candles and turning the lights down low if this is your thing is also a great way to re-connect. One great way to connect and be efficient with your time is to discuss your parenting dreams with your baby’s father. Including him in decisions and discussing how you’d like to trade off on parenting duties in a relaxed atmosphere can do amazing things for your libido. Throw on a baby-doll negligee with your little one in a baby swing or bassinet nearby as you rub toes and chat. Incidentally, all of this produces oxytocin for you too. Who said you weren’t a multi-tasking hot momma?
3. Take Relationship Workshops & Read Marriage Books Together
If one of your deep seated fears is becoming like your mom, or having your relationships turn into failures like your parents’ broken marriage…then to break the pattern DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
This is how you ensure you do not parent blindly, or focus your attention on what you don’t want. By learning new skills and ways to communicate effectively you are choosing to act from a place of control, responsibility, and greater self-awareness—not to mention self-love.
The divorce rate and out-of-wedlock pregnancies are higher than ever. You can hold everything together if you take an active role in making sure you’re doing all you can to raise a well-adjusted child with two loving parents loving each other too.
By focusing your energy first on keeping your stress levels low with tip #1, it will make you calmer and able to take those relaxing moments with your baby’s dad too with tip #2. And, if you do tip #3 too and actively invest in the parent and spouse departments of your relationship with your baby’s father…then you will be a superstar. Able to balance all your roles, eat your cake, bounce back into shape, and keep a happy, stable relationship together for years to come. Launch your own PR campaign today for your life—one that is solution-oriented and genuine so your brand is around for years to come!