Promise to Notice Each Other Every Day
Instead of saving your money up to buy something to express your love, what about making a promise to yourself that you’ll let your partner know every day how much you love and appreciate them? It’s as simple as stopping what you’re doing when the other walks in the door to hug, kiss, and ask how the other person’s day was today. You can also verbally express your gratitude when you notice your partner is pitching in to make your load easier. Choose to compliment them every day, and then do it. The list is endless of ways you can show and say I love you all year long.
If you surveyed women about how often they’d like to receive flowers, then what do you think you’d find? It may come as a surprise to some that it’s not the size of the bouquet that matters as an expression of how much they are loved or appreciated, but how many times a year their partner picks out flowers. When a guy stops by the side of a road to pick poppies, or picks a daisy from a field, or clips a hydrangea from the yard throughout the year—to a woman she interprets this as being thought of just because all year round. It’s not the amount or the size or how often she receives flowers.
What makes her feel loved and appreciated is being thought of in this way more than just one or two days a year. She will feel cherished and valued. And in our fast-paced society, when women often are running around caring for everyone else, feeling rushed and overwhelmed; this can be a real treat for her. Being creative and having something beautiful to look at are wonderful ways to let her take a breath, because you noticed her care-giving efforts. And, ladies, if you really enjoy flowers, then periodically get them for yourself because you want to and think they’re pretty (that’s called self-care!).
Likewise, if you surveyed men about how often they’d like to receive little trinkets that say, “I love you,” what do you think you’d discover? I believe there’s a reason why many of us in and out of relationships feel somewhat ambivalent about this holiday.
It’s not the material things that matter to either sex. Both men and women want to be loved, cherished, and appreciated. Guys sometimes think women want grandiose gestures, and sometimes gals think men what this too. But does this really make us feel loved?
My husband and I decided the homemade expressions and downtime together is what we are craving the most this year. We made the commitment years ago to one another to express daily that we chose to walk through this life together. We never take this for granted, and regardless of the chaos going on in our lives, our relationship is solid. Why? Because verbalizing aloud and acknowledging that we love one another every day, and that we wouldn’t want it any other way day-in and day-out has laid a solid foundation for a lifetime of love.
This week, like you, we’re in the middle of a busy week. We’re 8 months pregnant, working, and raising our preschooler. It’s taken us several days of prep, cutting, stamping, stickering, and lettering…but my son and I just finished making about 20 homemade Valentine ’s Day cards for his preschool friends. It’s the thought and effort that is important not the candy or pre-fabricated cards. We hope you have a happy Valentine’s Day from Mars Venus Coaching as you celebrate why you’re both loveable and a perfect pair. The health of our relationships at the end of our life is often what makes our lives so rewarding.
Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd
Mars Venus Coaching
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