Meet Linda. Linda was in her mid-thirties when she came to me. She felt worthless, hopeless, and tired of meaningless hookups. She didn't love herself, or even see herself as worthy of dating a man who would treat her like a queen. After working with me in group coaching and doing other relationship-readiness work, Linda is now dating amazing men — the kind of men she used to be afraid to even talk to. She is so conﬁdent in her new life that she chose to leave one special man behind in her hometown (something she would never have done in the past) to pursue a dream job opportunity abroad, knowing that it is important for her to create the life she loves now, and conﬁdent in her belief that if he is "the one," he will be there when she returns. Linda is happy, relaxed, extremely satisﬁed with her life, and looking forward to discovering what the future holds.
Meet Sheryl. Sheryl is in her mid-ﬁfties and is soon to be an empty-nester. Sheryl is successful at work and has been divorced for six years. She has never dated much, instead focusing most of her attention on her children and creating an independent life — something she didn't have when she was in her unhealthy marriage. Sheryl came to me because she knew that it was ﬁnally her time, but she was terriﬁed that if she entered into a relationship she would lose everything she had worked so hard to create. Through both group coaching classes and private coaching sessions, Sheryl realized that she had been so busy trying to control, create, and manage her life as a single mom that she didn't even realize that she was unable to accept love, help, or generosity. She had a heavy heart and was terriﬁed of dating. Through our work together, Sheryl learned to relax, enjoy her life, and receive all sorts of love and attention. She learned to stop working so hard and to instead allow things to unfold. In just a few months, Sheryl was able to accomplish more of the things on her to-do list than she ever had before — and all without stress. She dramatically improved her relationships with her children and embarked on a trip she had long dreamed of taking. She began to know herself, trust her own judgment, and feel deeply. Sheryl now feels that she is truly ready to embark on a new era of her journey that includes dating.
The common lesson in these two stories is this: we are not broken. We do not need to be ﬁxed. The truth is, however, that many of us wear masks — learned default patterns or habits — that help us to feel safe and get by, but also keep us stuck. But we are much more than our bad habits or default tendencies. If you choose to remove the mask, anything is possible. By committing to developing a perfect blend of skills, intention, and action, you can have the life you've dreamed of. What actions will you take today to begin living an authentic life? How will you choose to live a life free from the trap of self-protection? What will you do to ensure that your future is more than just a repeat of your past?
Take time today to choose to live life as the blank canvas it is. You are the artist and director. Be bold, take a risk, and let go. The results will be nothing short of miraculous!