How to steer clear of the mistakes you didn't even know you were making.
In my work with male clients, it still surprises me when I hear the array of horrific “dating don’ts” that are innocently committed by the most beautiful, educated and seemingly “perfect” women.
The results are tragic, and I feel quite confident that most of these women have no idea why they are not being asked on date number 2, or are ultimately not pursued after the red flags are hoisted, flown and dominate the country of potential relationship. What’s most important for you to know is that while you may say you would “never “ do these things, there are a host of small, minute “errors” that send men running for the hills in their Nikes.
What follows is my top 3 Unconscious Dating Mistakes made by some of the most beautiful, smart and “together” women who walk unwittingly through the dating jungle:
1. The Medical “Overshare”
It may seem so innocent to share your medical history on a date, especially when the conversation merely started over your choice to say “no” to the gourmet macaroni and cheese your date offers you over the dinner table. However, it is not in your best interest to share your genetic disposition to high cholesterol, pull out the herbal tea you are drinking to cope with menstrual cramps, or even mention your brief experimentation with anti-anxiety medication to get through the recent death of the grandmother who practically raised you that is the reason you keep yawning over dessert.
While these facts do not indicate whether or not your values may match the man with whom you are having these conversations, the truth is that because he asked you out and chose to spend time with you, he may hear these conversational tidbits and fleetingly wonder if your children would have high cholesterol or be prone to anxiety. Although I urge both men and women to simply enjoy a date without the pressure of “is this the one’ mentality and have a “human experience,” it is natural and normal for a man (or woman) to raise an ear to a piece of information that could be a potential red flag.
Quite simply, don’t share any medical information on a 1st, 2nd or even 3rd date. Save this information for later, when he is beginning to dig you, starts to miss you between dates, and thinks you are positively adorable. Then, when the “ugly warts” start to slowly be revealed, he will be able to put it in context of who you TRULY are.
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