Scenario #4: He cancels your date. You want to express your disappointment to avoid miscommunicating that “it’s cool,” as you know the “cool girl” mentality will only serve to send the wrong message. You like him, though, and want to give him room to improve.
She: I’m so disappointed we aren’t going to get together. I was looking forward to it. (don’t skip this first piece!) I’m looking forward to rescheduling, Brad. My (insert date – e.g., Thursday) is open next week. Let me know if that works for you when you have time to get to your calendar. In the meantime, (insert “feel better,” “hope work slows down,” “your grandma recovers quickly” etc….)
Scenario #5: Your relationship hasn’t been progressing, and you want to check in to see if he is “Quality Casual,” or a man who is looking for a long-term relationship. (e.g., Boyfriend Material).
It’s important to notice if a relationship is progressing or seems stymied before engaging in this conversation. Avoid this conversation until at least the 4th or 5th date. At this point, here’s how it could go down:
She: I have really enjoyed getting to know you Tom. We have had such fun on the amazing dates you have planned. You are so creative (or, insert other compliment, kudo or praise here!) I am hoping I can get to know you better though. I’m wondering if we could have a date that (insert here… “starts before 9pm, “ “is on a night when you don’t have to rush off to work/meeting/or other obligation,” or is before next week.”).
In many cases, clients who have used this approach were shocked to know that “Tom” had no idea he was not making the relationship a priority. In some cases, the “Toms” of the world adjust, and in other cases this is when “Tom” fesses up that at this point he is not really looking for a serious relationship, freeing you up to find a Tom that is also looking for the real deal!
Interested in learning more? Check out www.datingwithdignity.com!