If Valentine’s Day were a person I would be defending her, taking her to lunch to help “pump” her up, and unabashedly wondering why people are avoiding her at all costs. I mean, geez, she’s just a Pink and red Hallmark holiday moment. She doesn’t smell. Dress weird, or have bad breath.
It seems the truth is, or at least what seems like the truth based on all the email blasts I have been getting from love coaches in the last few days, is that if you are single on this holiday then you should accordingly be depressed, sad, hopeless and bitter. You should need to take a class to feel better, be mad that the guy you have been casually dating hasn’t “stepped up” to the plate. If you are in a relationship, you should feel “bad” for putting pressure on your beloved to show up with a bit of romance on Sunday. In fact, one email I got said that she and her partner were “boycotting” Valentine’s Day because they show love towards one another daily.
STOP the presses. REALLY, now. Does Valentine’s Day deserve to be trashed?
Quite frankly, this is the first Red Holiday that I have had a relationship in my life in six years. While the Brit and I chose not to exchange gifts during the winter holidays, (we went on a family vacation, instead) I decided I would like to acknowledge the love we have for each other during February. Here’s how it went down:
1. We discussed holidays, gift giving and the general expectations we each have for such holidays. I told The Brit that I am big into birthdays, Mother’s Day and since I am very blessed to have lots of love in my life (including the love from my three daughters) I like to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
The Brit said that as an immigrant, he has never been into the Hallmark Holidays, but is open to living La Vida Loca when it comes to a partnership with me. He admittedly botched Halloween, didn’t really get Thanksgiving, but is ready to start fresh in 2010. He asked for direction, suggestions, and a goal.
2. As February 14th approached, we talked about how and when we would celebrate Valentine’s Day. I told him I always buy my daughters small tokens (including chocolate — they are girls, after all), and have traditionally made a heart-shaped chocolate cake to serve at breakfast, given the girls their gifts, decorated the table with confetti hearts, and spent some special quality time together during the day. I told him I am a slight dork, and created this tradition the year I got divorced, to celebrate the Girl Power in my house, honor each other’s femininity, show each other love, and take advantage of an opportunity to eat chocolate together! As a result, even though I was divorced and then single for six years, Valentine’s Day became one of my favorite holidays.