Men cheat. Women cheat. People cheat. It’s true. The question many of us have at Dating with Dignity is, why?
We’ve compiled a list of the REAL reasons why men cheat.
So what is the MAIN reason men cheat?
The answer may surprise you. Most women assume men cheat because of sexual attraction–but in fact, they don’t. According to studies of men who have cheated in serious relationships or marriages, they cheated because they were emotionally dissatisfied in their relationships. An overwhelming majority were feeling underappreciated and emotionally disconnected from their partner. This can be an underlying feeling that’s been happening over time, or it can be sudden.
This isn’t to say that sex doesn’t play a role AT ALL in men’s infidelity. Sex is an integral part of a healthy relationship, and for that reason if a guy is in an emotionally satisfying relationship that’s sexually deficient, it’s likely he’ll look for it elsewhere.
So how physical was it?
Of course, when someone engages in a physical affair they’re most likely attracted to them. However (and again somewhat surprisingly), in multiple studies almost 90% of men surveyed who had cheated did NOT describe the woman they cheated with as being more attractive than their partner.
When does it happen?
Another reason men cheat is to get affirmation that they’re still desirable to the opposite sex–and not the person they’re in a long-term relationship with. Harmless flirting is fine; but when a man is insecure enough about his waning mojo, he’ll seek out women outside of his relationship to confirm he still “has it.” (Of course there are also men who simply enjoy the art of sneaking around, and we hope you stay far away from that type of guy.)
And where do most men meet the women they have affairs with?
Many men who begin to feel underappreciated at home seek out admiration and respect in the workplace. Often these dalliances start out as emotional connections and then progress to the physical. When men have trouble talking with their partners or feel as though they’ve lost a spark in their relationship (mental, physical or otherwise), it’s easy to lean on female acquaintances and friends whom they’re around most often: from 9 to 5.
Other influences that cause men to cheat?
These include getting an extra thrill, being around friends who have also or are currently cheating on a spouse or partner, and feeling as though their partner has changed. If a man feels like his girlfriend or wife has become less caring or has stopped being romantic, it can cause him to seek affection from other women. If she’s vastly different from the girl he feels he fell in love with, he’ll want to find what he used to have with her…somewhere else.