For most women the end of a marriage feels like starting life completely over from scratch. So although it might feel strange, divorce can ultimately become the “best, worst thing” that ever happens.
And, armed with that mindset, life after divorce can signal a new beginning. One day, your marriage will be a thing of your past; even though you may share things like children, pets, homes, and in some cases financial responsibilities, you will be able to move past it.
The typical “adjustment period” can take anywhere from one to five years and includes the following phases: physical separation, breaking free from your past, revealing and then releasing the old wounds and hurts, forgiving your ex and yourself, creating the life you love, rejuvenation, and then beginning to entertain the idea of dating and inviting a new man into your life.
In case you need some help with the steps you need to take in your life after divorce head on and move past the hurt, here at Dating with Dignity we have four steps to moving past the hurt and getting on with your life!
1. Make a plan.
Along with a legal plan to make your divorce as do-able as possible, you also need to set out and make a “Whole Life Reinvention Plan” for what your next steps are emotionally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually. If you have kids, decide what your relationship needs to be with your ex. Sit down and figure out your finances with an expert if possible, and make sure you plan accordingly.
Do you need to take back control of your physical self? Start exercising regularly? Lose weight? Or maybe it’s time to cut your hair and reinvent how you define yourself through a simple physical change.
Are there new hobbies you want to pursue? Is it time to consider going back to school or put your mind on getting a promotion at work? Although all parts of your life will probably be different than if you were still married, make sure you’re setting up yourself for a safe future in which you create a powerful “whole-life” reinvention plan where you are the focus. It can be a six-month or a five-year plan! Whatever it is, keep yourself as a priority.
2. Create a support team.
If you don’t think your support team is big enough, build it up. Every woman needs an “Ex-Husband Protection Network”! Find a group of women or even one good friend who is going through a similar experience to aid you in your healing process.
If you need someone who is qualified to help you move through the process and create your “Reinvention Plan,” consider talking with a qualified therapist or coach who specializes in breakups and/or divorce. Also, having good friends who make you laugh and can do activities with you as you begin to recreate your new life will help you continue without having to feel like you’re completely alone.
More Juicy Content From YourTango: