50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

How to Communicate to Get What You Want and Need!

By

How to Communicate to Get What You Want and Need!

While some men just aren't Mr. Boyfriend Material, others just need clear communication from you about what you want, need and expect from them. To make things trickier, many women have difficulty articulating exactly what they're looking for. That said, imagine if you knew the following:

  • Exactly what you want in a partner, including his values and goals in life.
  • How to effectively communicate your needs and expectations without having to be bitchy, brash or judgmental.
  • Simple ways to set boundaries to allow the possibility of a relationship to unfold before you knee-jerk kick him to the curb.

In order to get your needs met, you have to be able to articulate exactly what you need and then be able to communicate those needs in a way that is appropriate, kind, compassionate, and reveals your true, authentic self.

More from YourTango: 5 Foolproof Ways to Get Out of the Friend Zone

Here are three steps you can take right now to begin to clearly express your desires to the man in your life so you can begin getting what you want:

1. Decide exactly you want.

If you're going to communicate your needs and desires to your man clearly, you need to be clear in your own mind about exactly what those needs and desires are. Whether you want him to be on time, call instead of text, move the relationship to the next level, call you his girlfriend, or propose marriage, the first step is to own those needs and desires in your own mind.

2. Tell him directly.

No matter how great a guy is, he's most likely not a mind reader. If you want him to call you instead of his usual texting, you’re going to have to tell him so. He may or may not be willing to comply. If he isn't, it's up to you to decide if the issue at hand is a deal-breaker. The bottom line is this: Once you communicate, he knows what you need and expect, and you are both agreeing to whatever resolution is reached together.

More from YourTango: 8 First Date Tips You Need To Know

3. Set boundaries—and enforce them.

This is the most difficult part of self-care for many women. One of my clients recently shared a story with me about a date that went horribly awry. She had met the man online, and then they had met in person for coffee. Upon leaving the coffee shop together, her date discovered his car had been towed. Instead of politely excusing herself from the impending drama (setting a boundary), she felt obligated to be part of his crisis-management team. He called his mom, complained loudly about the $200 fee he had to pay to get his car back, and whined for hours while she drove him around searching for his car, an ATM machine, and so forth.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Make A Move

Forgiveness : The Most Important "F-Word".

Forgive so that the past no longer holds you back. It is time to move forward.

Trouble In Paradise

5 Signs Your Marriage is At Risk

Learn the warning signs for divorce so you can avoid a crisis and find ways to turn things around.

woman sending naked pic

Before You Hit Send: The Cold, Hard Truth About Sending Nude Pics

Ever thought about sharing nude photos or sexting with a new guy? Read on to know what to watch for.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS