Often, Mr. Elusive becomes burned out by relationship or dating, which is why he will disappear. Frustrated by his inability to maintain the pacing he initiated, he will ultimately blame you, feel guilt, and disappear. Mr. Elusive typically has poor conflict resolution skills, which is why he will simply vanish instead of create an opportunity to explore his feelings, the relationship, or how to get his needs met. Mr. Elusive won’t commit, rationalizes his choices and often battles feelings of guilt.
He may truly care about you, but is unable to cope, manage or create win-win relationships. Instead of communicating his fears or changing his behaviors, he will often blame you, and then feel guilty that he can’t give you what you need. He often will avoid confrontation, take everything personally, and often will feel as if he is being persecuted for his and other’s mistakes. He will typically keep his feelings and opinions to himself, except for when he is blaming you.
In addition, Mr. Elusive can quickly fall into co-dependent relationships yet views women and relationships as “dangerous.” Often, he feels like his way of living, beliefs, and behaviors are not “fit” to exist within the confines of a relationship. In fact, deep below the surface, Mr. Elusive truly fears that he is not deserving of love, so will often sabotage relationships, feeling he is not capable of having one.
2. Core thoughts of the Mr. Elusive can include… “Life is futile. Sigh….” “Why bother, it will only lead to failure.” “Everyone is after me. It’s my fault. I am pitiful” “I’m not capable; failure follows me everythere I go.” “What I can’t see can’t hurt me.” “I’m in control and know how to play the game” “I’m sure I can convince her to see it my way” “The past is not important; let’s live for today (said, but not believed)”
3. In addition to his self-doubt and feeling he is not capable, he refuses to open up fully. As a result, he will attract women who thrive on self-doubt (internal conflict) and the need to “win.” As a result of his feelings he will engage in arguments, unable to trust women or his ability to be a “good” partner.
Are You At Risk of Attracting a Mr. Elusive? Women who have D-Factors results which reveal predominate victim or conflict energy, resulting in internal conflict such as self-doubt, guilt, jealousy, resentment or feeling that the relationship is not working because they are not “enough” or are ” broken.”