Who Pays for What and Why?


Who Pays for What and Why?
Men and women's roles are a bit confusing these days, like who pays on the date?

Who Pays for What and Why?

If you are part of an upscale matchmaking service, especially the kind where the ladies don’t have to pay to join, you know it is customary for the man to pay for the date. But if you are internet-dating you should probably expect to pay half. Many times it is just easier to go for a coffee. Men and women’s roles are a bit mixed up these days. Women want equality in every area, but when it comes to dating, we still love to be treated like a lady, protected and taken care of. A lot of women will “test” a guy when the check comes. She’ll pull out her wallet and say, “How much do I owe?” If he lets her pay half, she finds him cheap and probably would not see him again.
When I was dating, I never knew what to do. After my divorce, I remember asking a single gal who dated a lot, “Will he pay for dinner?” She told me that the man is lucky to be having dinner with such a beautiful, fascinating woman, and he should be glad to pay for dinner! So, I went with that advice and it worked pretty well. But you don’t want to just take all the time. If you continue to see a man, it would be nice to treat him once in a while, or invite him to your place and cook for him. I did that with my now-husband. For the first couple of weeks, he wined and dined me. Then I wanted to reciprocate and would cook for him a couple of nights per week. I’m a vegetarian and one of my specialties was a vegetable stir-fry with tofu. I thought it was quite tasty and thought that he did, too. He actually hated it, but was too polite to say anything until a couple of years later! He silently suffered through my tofu stir-fry just to spend time with me.
So, ladies, go ahead and let the man pay for dinner or drinks, but show your appreciation with a sincere thank-you, and if you continue to see each other, give him a treat once in a while.

Article contributed by

Marla Martenson


Marla Martenson, matchmaker & author of Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
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