Mixed Messages In Dating

By

Mixed Messages In Dating
Jumping to conclusions can prove fatal to a first date.


I did get feedback from Marissa, she told me that she really likes Nathan but she has been very sick and planned to call him as soon as she was feeling better. So Nathan jumped to his own conclusions and felt teased and frustrated when, in fact, there was nothing wrong, Marissa was just ill. If someone does not get back to you right away, keep yourself busy with other things. Don’t jump to conclusions, because you really have no idea what the other person is thinking.

Was this next couple even in the same text message conversation or on the same date?

 

Hi Marla,
I finally was able to go out with Andy last night. His age was great, he was really nice and fun, but he was not my type physically at all… his looks and slicked-back hair. I go more for a rugged or pretty boy. He was nice at dinner… but a little self- absorbed with his talk on music and the band, but really a gentleman. The only issue I had is that he texed me this evening and told me he had a great time and I let him know that I did too but would like to be friends and he was quite rude in his response… kind of put me down… not a graceful loser so to speak. I am just telling you this in case you give the guys guidance about how to date because that is definitely a put off and I wouldn’t even be friends with him at this point. You are very close…. just someone a little more with a sensitive spot perhaps? I am interested in meeting the right guy. Thanks sweetie and take care, Judy

I e-mailed Andy and gave him her feedback. He was totally confused and sent me this e-mail:


Wasn’t rude, just honest. Here is the exact texting:
Me: Nice meeting you last night!
Her: Thx. U2! Would love to be friends
Me: Thanks anyway, didn’t really feel a connection either. Good luck 2 you though…
Her: Glad we’re on the same page. Take care!

Don’t think that was rude, right? Again, she was just so into herself, talked about herself and her business the entire time, not really asking me any questions or even caring Anyway, just wanted you to know how the text went so you can judge for yourself.
Thanks, Andy

So while Judy felt that Andy talked too much about his music and the band, Andy felt that Judy was self- absorbed talking the whole time about herself.  Judy interpreted Andy’s good luck text as being a sore loser.  With this couple the chemistry was clearly lacking, but I do find it very interesting that they both felt that the other spoke mostly about themselves.

This feedback below from Gina is interesting. She went out with Paul a few days before Valentine’s Day.


Marla,
He was nice, but talked mostly about himself. Asked for a Valentine’s date 20 minutes after I met him. Tried to hold my hand under the table. It was really uncomfortable. And he tried to kiss me on the mouth after dinner. He’s nice but for me that is a bit too much. If he had been more interested in me and less touchy-feely I would have felt more comfortable. He seems a little in a rush to hop into a new relationship. I hope this feedback helps.
Tammy

Article contributed by

Marla Martenson

Matchmaker

Marla Martenson, matchmaker & author of Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Marla Martenson:

Swipe The Right Way to Quality Relationships with LinkedUp!

By

Online dating and dating apps are all the rage these days. Sit in a coffee shop long enough and you will observe that awkward preliminary meeting followed by obvious disappointment on the girl’s face when she realizes that her dream guy is not what his profile claims. What if you can eliminate the “catfishes” and see their real photo, know ... Read more

No Whimps Allowed: Handling Dating Rejection With Grace

By

Dating and rejection, these two words often seem to go hand-in-hand. It is just part of the equation. Chemistry is not something that can be predicted. So even if the date goes well, that romantic spark might not be there. I remember when I was out there in the dating pool seeking a soul mate. I had a strategy for deciding if the guy should get a second ... Read more

Are You The Marrying Kind & Is It Really Possible To Have It All?

By

I'm a big Chelsea Handler fan. I love her confidence, her wit and her honesty. She has been in the news lately for her comment regarding marriage where she said she's "not the marrying kind." In an interview with Gwyneth Paltrow, seen here on the Huffington Post, Handler says, "The truth of the matter is, I don't really know how to ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.