How Do You See Yourself?

By

How Do You See Yourself?
How we see ourselves in the world directly affects our relationships.

How do you see yourself? Have you ever thought about it? Whether you realize it or not, we are constantly making judgments about ourselves. It could be that you think you need to lose a few pounds, you have too many wrinkles, you aren’t smart enough, your credit card debt should be paid off by now, you aren’t in the social circle that you would like to be in, and it goes on and on. You know what your problems, challenges, and weak spots are, but others generally do not. I remember one time when I was living in Chicago for the first time, I was married, basically unhappily, struggling financially, working as a waitress and going on auditions. I was working in a restaurant, not doing any better than any of the other waiters, I totally felt like they were my peers, we were in the same boat, we were also all about the same age. One day I found out from one of the waitresses that everyone thought that I was a rich housewife who was bored and that was why I took a job as a waitress. I was stunned! I guess that I had an air about me that was upper crust, even in a uniform! Years later when I worked at a dating service in Los Angeles called Great Expectations, clients always assumed that I was the manager or owner and where I work now, when people meet me outside the office, assume that I own the company.

So, it didn’t matter that I was scared, insecure, struggling or broke, people had an opinion of me just by looking at me. Now, I have also had a couple of experiences where when I asked someone what they thought of me the first time they saw me, they told me that I looked like a bitch. Wow! That also stunned me, because I am one of the most friendly person anyone will ever meet. But, it occurred to me that since people automatically assume that I am successful, powerful, and at a great place in my life, that I should see my self that way too, no matter what is going on. I can set my mind and my energy to believe and feel that I am worthy, I am successful, I am in a loving relationship with my soul mate, I am creative, I am financially abundant, I am working in a career that I love, etc. etc.

So, why not accept this invitation to see yourself as all of those things since the universe sees you as all of those things already. Know that you are a perfect creation on this planet and have a right to be here. You have a right to love, abundance, happiness, success, peace and more. You are worthy of living happily ever after with your soul mate just like in the fairy tales. You are going to visualize it and feeeel it until your lips tingle! You are going to feel your way into a fabulous relationship. You are going to feel like you already have everything that you desire and deserve. Have no doubts! I was listening to a talk show host on the radio in my car tonight on my way home from work and the host was talking about past relationships and the fact that if it was over at one point, there was a reason and he never got back together with a woman again later. He said, “In my life, I don’t push the rewind button!” I loved that! I really took some time and pondered that message, I took it to heart in a different way since I am in a relationship, and for me it applied to past mistakes in any arena. But they are words of wisdom when it comes to becoming bitter about men, rehashing the past, what you should have or could have done. When it comes to men, do not press the re-wind button, take each person as a new and fresh experience, and see yourself as nothing short of fabulous! Be glad that you are you!

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Marla Martenson

Matchmaker

Marla Martenson, matchmaker & author of Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Marla Martenson:

Swipe The Right Way to Quality Relationships with LinkedUp!

By

Online dating and dating apps are all the rage these days. Sit in a coffee shop long enough and you will observe that awkward preliminary meeting followed by obvious disappointment on the girl’s face when she realizes that her dream guy is not what his profile claims. What if you can eliminate the “catfishes” and see their real photo, know ... Read more

No Whimps Allowed: Handling Dating Rejection With Grace

By

Dating and rejection, these two words often seem to go hand-in-hand. It is just part of the equation. Chemistry is not something that can be predicted. So even if the date goes well, that romantic spark might not be there. I remember when I was out there in the dating pool seeking a soul mate. I had a strategy for deciding if the guy should get a second ... Read more

Are You The Marrying Kind & Is It Really Possible To Have It All?

By

I'm a big Chelsea Handler fan. I love her confidence, her wit and her honesty. She has been in the news lately for her comment regarding marriage where she said she's "not the marrying kind." In an interview with Gwyneth Paltrow, seen here on the Huffington Post, Handler says, "The truth of the matter is, I don't really know how to ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB