Don’t be sitting there making out your grocery list in your head or wondering if Mimi can fit you in for a pedicure Friday at four. Really hear what he is saying, then ask a question now and again that shows you understand and want to hear more. Keep in mind that the love bug sitting across the table from you has a job, friends, a family, hobbies, and interests. Without grilling him, ask some questions about where he has traveled, what he is involved in, where he grew up, etc. He will feel very comfortable with you, and it is a fabulous way to start off a relationship. Yes, it is crucial that he want to know you, too, and if he makes no attempt to know who you are and what’s important to you, you are likely to find him a bit self-absorbed, but on the first date, just this once at least, let him take the lead. Besides, learning all that you can about who he is and what’s important to him is really good insight into making a decision if you wish to pursue a relationship with him. So, let his need to talk about himself work in your favor.
Be careful how much alcohol you consume on a first date. That French cabernet tastes like silk going down or the apple martini has just enough zing that you go ahead and order another, and then another and another while enjoying scintillating conversation with Mr. Possibility. This can be quite fun and exciting, but very dangerous because you will probably let at least a few things slip from your ever so slightly lipstick-smudged lips that you will definitely regret manana! You also run the risk of engaging in frisky and rather risky behavior that you normally would save for much later in the relationship.
Avoid talking about astrology and past lives. Now, I know I find myself hard-pressed to pry myself away from the television when James van Pragh is on Oprah, but it is usually not interesting to a guy and can be a deadly subject to bring up on a first or second date. The guy will probably think that you are strange and flaky. So reserve that topic for discussions with your girlfriends.
If you are desperate to have a baby! Pleeeeeeeese do not bring up this subject, even if your last egg is about to drop!! Perhaps you’ve waited too long to start a family and now are in a panic and looking for the future father of your child with more determination than the U.S. forces hunting Osama Bin Laden! But you are on a first date with a man. Just enjoy yourself. He does not want or need that pressure. He doesn’t even know if he wants a second date with you, let alone whether he’ll want to father your children!
Keep up on current events. We must absolutely keep ourselves abreast of what is going on in the world. I can’t tell you how many times a gentleman has mentioned to me that he is looking for a lady who is intelligent and can hold a stimulating conversation. A man wants to know that you can hold your own if he takes you to a business affair. I was recently talking a one of my male clients about a gal he was going to be meeting later in the week. They had talked on the phone quite a bit and he really liked her personality, but he was concerned about the fact that at the age of 36, she did not know who our vice president was.
Avoid answering your cell phone during dinner. This is a real turn-off. Here the poor gent is trying to impress you and show you a good time.