Dating Do's & Don'ts


Dating Do's & Don'ts

Wear something feminine and classy on the first date. Believe it or not, men notice what a woman wears. Of course, you’ll want to show off your fabulous form, but this does not mean dressing like a porn star. A man definitely wants to see your figure, but keep it tasteful. Stiletto heels, a mini skirt and your cleavage spilling out all over so that the poor guy can’t even maintain eye contact is not a way to make a good impression. You can still look sexy and appealing without looking trashy. This goes for makeup as well. I have heard countless times from men when giving me feedback on their date that they thought the gal was overly made-up. My own husband tells me often that he doesn’t know why I put on makeup because I look so much better without it. Did you realize that a man analyzes a woman on a first date, picturing whether he would take her to a business function or to meet his friends or family? Or if he would want her for the mother of his children? If not, she will probably be just another girl to put in his little black book to call when he wants to have some fun.

Return phone calls. Since I have been working as a matchmaker, I truly feel sorry for all of our men out there in the minefields of the dating world. It takes an awful lot of courage to keep approaching women and asking them out, getting shot down most of the time, and then finally after acquiring a first date, asking her if she “would like to do this again sometime.” “Sure,” she responds with a smile, “call me.” So, our excited and well-intentioned gentleman does just that. He calls her, but gets her voicemail. He leaves a sweet message about what a great time he had with her Saturday night and would she like to see him later in the week. But alas, there is never a return call. She is simply not interested. He is a nerd. He is too short. He is too tall. He likes badminton. He drinks white zinfandel. He has a cat. Whatever the reason, she figures there is no need to call him back because she has NO interest. Well, ladies, here is a news flash! You will appear very mature and send out lots of sparkly good feelings into the universe if you just dial his number on your cell phone and tell him “merci beaucoup” for a fabulous evening, and he was a perfect gentleman. Unfortunately, you reveal, you just do not feel any romantic chemistry, but you do wish him luck in finding the right girl. I understand that it is not easy telephoning someone and rejecting him, especially after he has bought you a lovely dinner, but just do it. You’ll get the hang of it, feel empowered and yet civilized at the same time, and eventually wonder why it was so difficult in the past.

Be a good listener. Ladies, if you are serious about attracting a dreamboat into your life, one of the skills that you simply must learn is the art of listening! Now, almost all men subscribe to the myth that women talk too much. What they really mean is they don’t get a chance themselves to talk enough. A man loves to talk about himself and his accomplishments, but then again, who doesn’t? He needs to know that you are interested in him. If you just go on and on about yourself, showing no interest in him, he will come to the conclusion that you are self-centered and not want to see you again. Sorry, but that’s just how it works. And by the way, listening isn’t just sitting silent like a statue while the man yammers happily on. Listening is an active pursuit.

Article contributed by

Marla Martenson


Marla Martenson, matchmaker & author of Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
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