Humor aside, marriage can be extremely stressful. When I was growing up, all of the women in our neighborhood were stay-at-home moms. Their jobs were to raise the kids and take care of the house. Now, women are expected to raise the kids, take care of the house and be out there bringing home half of the bacon — all the while staying fit, sexy, and ready for romance at the drop of a hat. Many of us are running around like chickens with our heads cut off, trying to get everything done on our lists by the end of the day. That said, marriage is still the ambition of most women. What I find sad is the fact that so many single women are missing out on the deliciousness of their own lives because they are completely focused on finding a man to make their future brighter.
My husband is an entertainer and performs four nights per week at a restaurant in Beverly Hills. There are a lot of regulars that hang out at the bar and enjoy his music. Upon meeting some of these regulars that happen to be women, I would often get the same comment, "Oh, it is so nice to meet you! Your husband is so talented. You two make such a great couple! I want what you two have together."
What?! These comments come from people that have never met me, and know nothing about our relationship. They project their idea of marriage onto us and automatically assume that everything is bliss, just because we've exchanged vows. I have decided the next time I am on the receiving end of such a comment, I will offer them a ride on the freeway with my husband.
Now, all kidding aside, marriage definitely has its perks. An article from Science Daily tackled the issue. Here's what they found: "...researchers analyzed data for 4,802 individuals who took part in the University of North Carolina Alumni Heart Study, an ongoing study of individuals born in the 1940s. The authors were particularly interested in stability and change in patterns of marital and non-marital status during midlife, controlling for personality at college entry (average age 18), socioeconomic status and health risk behaviors. They found that having a partner during middle age is protective against premature death: those who never married were more than twice as likely to die early than those who had been in a stable marriage throughout their adult life. Being single, or losing a partner without replacement, increased the risk of early death during middle age and reduced the likelihood that one would survive to be elderly."
When I was single, I enjoyed being able to do what I wanted, and when I wanted to without having to check in with someone. I could decorate the house the way I wanted, leave the dishes in the sink and not make the bed if I didn't feel like it. But at the end of the day, I was longing for someone to snuggle with in front of the television — and my dog didn't count. I also desired that feeling of safety, that someone had my back, and was there for emotional support and companionship. Now, my husband and I travel together, explore the world, share favorite foods and TV shows, and work out at the gym together. We have a lot of passion and romance, and my dear husband is also very handy around the house, as well as a genius with computers. If I weren't married, the Geek Squad would definitely be on speed dial. We are there for each other in the good times and in bad, and that makes life just a little bit sweeter. But it didn't mean my single life was unfulfilled.
There are pros and cons to both singledom and marriage, so I don't think that one group is happier than the other. In the end, being happy in your own skin and loving the life that you have is the ultimate goal. Enjoy where you are now, because tomorrow is not guaranteed. And don't step over the fence into someone else's pasture, because you just might step into a big ol' cow patty!