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The Naked Truth: What You Need To Know About Men & Porn

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Don't let porn ruin your relationship. Understand the addiction and see what you can do!

With a few powerful questions, my client took a hard look at his core fear of wondering if he had what it takes as a man to bring real and satisfying pleasure to his partner. I also hit him with the naked truth that the erotically pleased women he looked at on a daily basis really didn't prove his ability as a man at all.  In fact, he was faking himself out and subtly and consistently reinforcing the belief that he didn't have what it takes. He knew that his porn viewing was a fraud, because like all fraud committed by normal people, it left him with guilt. In this case, guilt as a result of not going for the real deal (an unselfish and deeply satisfying relationship) and instead cheating himself and his partner. How Halloween Costumes Can Spice Up Your Relationship

After just three sessions, the man lost total interest in porn and he decided to go for a real relationship. There's no substitute for character except to make decisions and take actions that a man of character does. The light of his own truth showed him that porn was promising something it couldn't deliver: real and guilt-free satisfaction of being man enough to bring his intimate partner authentic pleasure.

More from YourTango: Love & Money: Is There Balance In Your Relationship?

So what about a female partner's role in her lover's attraction to and use of pornography? There are many aspects to personal responsibility, so for the space of this article we'll take a gander at just a few. Number one, selection is always a key. The partner you select is totally up to you. In life, we tend to attract what we have become. What we have become is largely dependent on our values, priorities, and choices. If a woman dresses like a stripper and is always thinking about how she can seduce a man, and then is shocked to find out that her partner frequents strip clubs, maybe she needs to look in the mirror.

Also, there are warning signs in life and they tend to get louder and brighter until we take notice. Perhaps you saw or heard one on your first date with your current partner. What you did or will do about it will positively or negatively change the course of your self-worth and relationship. The bottom line is that you can look for nakedly honest ways to empower your own choices, experience, and destiny, and refuse to play the victim, no matter how widespread porn is. Can Our Marriage Survive An Affair?

More from YourTango: The Value Of Trust In Relationships

Oh by the way, there are a lot of men, probably more than not, who have no interest in porn, some of whom will appreciate authentic beauty like yours ... so, don't compromise! You can read more about beauty, pure attraction, passion, and polarity in my book, Being Love: 26 Keys to Experiencing Unconditional Love, available on Amazon.com, BN.com, and BeingLove.net.

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